To you I will always return
by tribebohemian
Summary: a story that follows lex, now 24, eight years after the originally virus. a story about love, longing and finding home. trexism
1. prologue

INTRODUCTION

This story takes place eight years after the original virus stopped the world. It's five years after season five, which I've changed for plot purposes. I know fans out there might not like what I've done with the characters but I'm a firm believer in growth and change. I simply couldn't write them the same as they were when they were teenagers. But whatever changes that have occurred were only taken from aspects already present in the characters themselves. I'm a true fan of the show and only hope I've done it justice with this story of love worth fighting for.

I hear the wind call your name

it calls me back home again

it sparks up the fire, a flame that still burns

Oh it's to you, I'll always return, yeah

I still feel your breath on my skin

I hear your voice deep within

the sound of my lover, a feeling so strong

oh it's to you, I'll always belong

now I know it's true, yeah

my every road leads to you

and in the hour of darkness darlin'

your light gets me through

I can't stand the distance

I can't dream alone

I can't wait to see you

'cause I'm on my way home

Oh I hear the wind, call your name

the sound the sound that leads me home again

it sparks up the fire, a flame that still burns

always to you, I'll always return

I can't stand the distance

I can't dream alone

I can't wait to see you

'cause I'm on my way home

I will always return. Yes I will always return

I've seen every sunset

and with all that I've learned

is to you, I will always, always return

-Brian Adams

PROLOGUE

This story changes many events in season five. Mega has a big plan but it's not to wipe out the city with a deadly virus. After getting rid of Ram, Mega attempts to rule over the city. Making Ebony go crazy and creating the horde of Zootists to divide the reliance. The Mallrats and many others, resenting his control, rebel. This begins what is later known as Mega's War which lasts for months. The rebels gain little headway having not only Technos to fight, but chaotic Zootists as well. In the end, Mega gains the upper hand and crushes the rebellion.

Liberty still exists and though Ram does regain his health there, his attempts to create computer software with Zoot's personality never goes though. The War claims the same lives including, Java, Siva and Ved. While the Mallrats try to pick up the pieces of their lives, Mega begins construction on the New City. He starts with a perimeter wall cutting off seven of the original city's sixteen sectors. Three sectors along the shoreline, the other four moving in towards the center of the city. Think of the shape of one quarter of a pie. He builds only one main road into the New City, the border gates equipped with scanners to keep those without the encrypted numerical tattoos on their hands out.

When the three story wall is finished and fully equipped with security cameras, Mega's Technos raid the old city for anything of value and usefulness. Wood, metal, glass, fabrics of all kinds, furniture, books, computers... anything that can be used or recycled for use. Riots ensue at the gates of the New City for lack of supplies and many, including the Mallrats, wonder where Mega is going with this. They debate leaving the city for good. Many do, including Mouse who has Salene take her to the Gaians.

Finally Mega surprises the Mallrats with a visit. He invites them to become members of his New City promising to provide them with all Ram had offered in the beginning. Running water, plentiful food, schools, a hospital, safe homes, law and order... a return to life before the virus. He even asks the elders of the tribe (Lex, Amber, Salene, Trudy and Jack) to be on a special council to ensure the city is run for the people.

The other bombshell he hits them with is the fate of their friends who were taken at the beginning of the Techno invasion. Those taken served a dual purpose. First, it made the city easier to control with nearly a third of it's citizens gone, and the remaining kids were easier to control with the missing used as leverage. Second, those taken were placed in rehabilitation to get the years of fighting and surviving out of their heads. Those who took to the program were retrained in useful trades (computers, medicine, education, science...) to become productive members of the New City. Those who didn't take to the program were unfortunately considered too high a risk due to their spirited natures and were used as test subjects to further scientific research. Alice, Bray and Taisan had been among this group.

While Jay was aware of the first objective, he was oblivious to Mega's plans of a New City as were most Technos under Ram's directive, Ram included. They had been told that those taken were working in camps. Mega explains that all those who completed rehab were now members of the New City, rebuilding life as he spoke. Mega gives the Mallrats one day to decide while he makes this offer to others. Once the Gates of the New City are closed, members will be scanned and their information computed. Their tattoos acting like social security cards with all their information. Passports if you will. Those not in the city's computer will not be able to gain access into the city without approval from Mega and the council.

Once Mega is gone, the Mallrats ponder their future. Many are angry at what they've lost, (Ellie, Lex) others saddened with the final fate of lost loved ones, (Amber, Salene) some are too numbed with indifference to feel anything, (Trudy, Jack) and others exhilarated at the thought of a new life without scratching for survival (Sammy, Gel). In the end, many choose the New City hoping this isn't a way for Mega to become a tyrant over them all. Others choose to stay behind or leave the city all together, opting instead for total freedom. There are plenty who have no choice since Mega considered them too dangerous to merit an invite, Ram and many Zootists included. The next day, Hundreds of kids move into the unknown while another hundred watch the gates close on them. It will be known as the day the city divided into light and darkness.


	2. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Lex opened his eyes and slammed an arm down on his alarm. Though he'd retired early the previous evening, he hadn't slept a wink and was exhausted. The last thing he wanted to do was report to work. For a moment he wished he didn't have such an important position so he could message in sick. He stared at his stucco ceiling which seemed to be yellowing with age.

"I gotta quick smoking." He muttered before swinging his legs out of bed.

He rolled himself a spice joint and lit it before standing at his bay window and gazing out at the city below him. It was barely sunrise and the streets were quiet. As he watched the newspapers being delivered to a newsstand down the block, he pondered why it was considered normal for everything to start so damn early. The paper made him think of Ellie briefly though she'd quit the paper years ago after writing the definitive history of what was considered the New World. She stuck to novels and children's stories now.

Lex wished the sun wouldn't come up. Wished it would stay dark so he could curl up under his blankets and hide. He knew the day would bring even more thoughts of the rest of them. The Mallrats. The thoughts would come and then the depression would follow. It happened every year this time. Lex watched a leaf fall from a tree and join the pile of dead leaves on the frost ridden ground. Was it five years already?

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"Morning Lex,"

Lex nodded at Lynn as he sat to read the paper. "The Cafe' on the Corner", named for it's location was quiet this morning. He always came in here for breakfast before starting his day. Conveniently located a block from his flat, he often had dinner and night caps here as well.

"The usual?" Lynn poured him a cup of a dark steaming liquid.

Lex shook his head. "Just the Teak. Not hungry."

Lynn nodded as she walked away.

He stopped to sniff his mug before drinking. Teak: the new coffee. A unique blend of herbs and tea leaves that gave the same result as caffeine. The smell reminded him of Taisan and her herbal tonics. Her smile flashed through his mind. Damn it. Lex scowled to himself. If he didn't need the energy jolt he would have gone with Tocum, a hot chocolate substitute. He dropped the paper and quickly drank his Teak, burning his tongue slightly. It was going to be a shitty day.

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"What's new in the world today boys?" Lex announced his arrival as he hung up his leather trench coat.

His colleagues in the office acknowledged him with nods of the head before going back to their paperwork. Lex sat at his desk and stared at the Techno symbol engraved on his name plate. He was a Techno which was the word for policeman in the New City. A Techno Lieutenant to be exact. Of the three jurisdictions in the city, Lex was more or less responsible for areas that bordered the old city. The bad parts of town, the seedy area. Mega thought Lex would be better at dealing with the roughneck's that lived there having been a sheriff in the old city. Lex didn't mind. He felt more at home in the slummier parts of the city. He knew the people and how to talk to them. He knew who was a real trouble maker and who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Hey boss."

Lex looked up at his assistant as a folder slapped down on his desk.

"What's on the agenda Keiran?"

The dark skinned boy of fifteen leaned on the desk. "Another report of stolen crops from the greenhouse in sector six. Looks like they got a better description this time. Domestic squabble in sector seven." The boy rolled his eyes. "Surprise, surprise. Missing kid in sector four..."

"How old?" Lex stared at his knuckles.

"Ten." Keiran cocked an eyebrow. "Runaway?"

Lex sighed. "Possibly. Or maybe he just forgot to tell his mom where he'd be."

"It's a girl."

Lex narrowed his eyes, his thoughts of the young girls lost to the dark side. "Then we check the clubs."

"The clubs?"

"Young girl trying to make a buck," Lex nodded. "She'll prob'ly try dancing."

"Speaking of dancing," The boy smirked. "Guess which club in sector seven had another fight in the wee hours."

Lex chuckled. "The Palace. Surprise, surprise."

"Technically the night crew filled out the report but she insisted on talking to Mega and he said for you to handle it."

"Anything else?"

"Um.." Keiran flipped through the folder quickly as he shook his head slowly. "No... though Mega did want to move up the Badlands recovery. Sometime next week."

Lex cringed as he stood up. Three months was never a long enough period of time between their excursions into the dark side aka the Badlands. The large Techno guard did a sweep and clear to recover dead bodies and burn them. It reduced the smell seeping into the New City. They also picked up stray children under the age of five and brought them to the children's home. And though it wasn't a practice smiled upon by many, it was a time to pick up suitable slaves for the New City.

He had to hand it to him, Mega was a smart governor. He knew what made the people happiest of all was the illusion of freedom. And they were free to live, work, earn money, spend money, be entertained, couple up and have families; all within the parameters of the law. Mega based many civil rights on income and job title. Number of offspring, servants and slaves were among these civil rights. No one could have more children, servants or slaves than they could afford to feed or look after. So someone with a job as waitress was permitted to have one child, one servant and one slave because that's what her income provided. Lex on the other hand could have three kids, three servants and up to four slaves while being single if he so chose.

There was a difference between servants and slaves. A servant was a job which like any other job a person could apply for, be fired from or quit on their own. They were paid through the city government like everyone else and were required to preform their job to the best of their abilities if they wished to keep it. There were live in servants and servants who worked by day only. They couldn't be mistreated or fired without good reason. A slave had no rights and certainly wasn't paid. Slaves ages ten and up were brought in from the Badlands and had to be approved by Mega before being placed on the market. He only wanted non threatening people serving his citizens. While some people thought this a cruel practice in which they refused to participate, being a slave was a pretty decent deal compared to life in the Badlands. Some desperate mothers sent their children into slavery so they could be fed. Others volunteered for the chance at a better life. After five years of servitude a slave could be granted freedom and a chance to become a citizen of the New City if their master so chose. While it was a non written rule that slaves should be treated humanely, it wasn't an actual crime when one was abused. It was one of those issues that most chose to ignore rather than fight. Some people had a slave or two, some had none while others had their maximum limit. A topic not addressed in polite conversation.

Lex and Keiran headed for The Palace first. Lex felt they could kill two birds with one stone. The main entertainment room was pretty empty save for one young girl dancing for a couple patrons while another schmoozed up to a drunk at the bar. Both wore underwear which could have been considered dental floss. Lex would have found himself aroused if he wasn't painfully aware of how young the girls were. There was yelling coming from the director's office out back. Lex tugged Keiran who was staring starry eyed at the girl dancing.

"She's got trouble tattooed all over her man." Lex led the young boy to where the yelling was coming from.

"Just get rid of it damn it! I can't afford to lose her for months while she's up the duff with some jerk offs baby!"

There was a low mumbling.

"Do what you hafta do and get out!"

Something glass hit the wall and shattered as the office door flew open. A young medic ran out and smashed into Keiran. He didn't stop to apologize as he rushed down the hall and through another door which he slammed. Lex sighed before pushing the door open.

"Hey Ebony."


	3. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Ebony narrowed her eyes. "Figures he would send you."

Lex came in and sat without being asked. Keiran followed.

"Have a seat." Ebony said sarcastically.

She rang a bell on the wall beside her desk and moments later a pretty girl in a flirtatious outfit came in, a tray of glasses and a bottle of bathtub whiskey on her arm. Silently she poured Ebony a drink and lit her a spice joint before leaving the room.

"You boys want a drink?" Ebony attempted to be hospitable.

"On duty." Keiran answered surprised.

"So what's the problem Eb?" Lex asked already bored with the scene.

"Didn't you read the report?"

"One of your slave girls was arrested for breaking a costumer's nose and you want her back."

"Damn right I want her back."

"She attacked someone Ebony. Law says she goes back to the Badlands."

"He deserved it the pig!" Ebony exhaled through her nose. "He tried to take more than he paid for. She was defending herself and my money."

"What was he doing here after hours anyway?"

Ebony took of swig from her glass. "He pays well and he's usually a good costumer. But even the good ones can cross the line sometimes. And I'm sick to death of these assholes who think they can break the rules just because I have slaves working here."

Lex rubbed his temples. He had a headache and the day had just begun.

"Which girl was it?"

"Kiki." Ebony smashed out her joint. "And I'll be damned if I'm gonna lose her. She's one of my best girls. She's young and she knows how to please the men. She's got so many costumers that she hasn't got time to dance. She's strictly a room girl now. I've got guys who reserve time days in advance for an hour with her. I am not losing her because someone didn't want to pay more to get in her back door. I want her back."

Lex knew Kiki. She was a thirteen year old who came from the dark side last spring. Like Ebony she was small in stature but a hell cat when cornered. A pretty girl with big, sad eyes and an already lovely little figure. He sighed. These kids were too young.

"I'll talk to Mega but you know what he's going to say."

Ebony shrugged. "Yeah yeah. He's gonna want me to pay some bogus fine and prob'ly get rid of one of my other girls just so it looks like I'm following the rules. Whatever. As long as I get Kiki back. She's well worth it."

"Not to mention it's her second offense. "Lex pointed out. "She screws up again and it'll be your ass. You might find yourself in the Badlands with her."

Ebony finished her drink as she thought that over. After a moment she sighed.

"What about the guy? He hit her first."

Lex sighed and scraped his thumb nail along the desk.

"Technically he didn't break any laws so he walks."

"Figures." Ebony looked disgusted. "What about his breaking the rules of my fine establishment? Any punishment for that?"

"Well, you can always ban him from coming back or place him on probation and not allow him access to your best girls. I mean it's your call. We can't touch him."

"Alright. Whatever. Just bring Kiki back."

"One more thing." Lex reached into his pocket in search of a pain killer. "Ten year old girl went missing from sector four yesterday. Thought she might try her luck in the clubs. You haven't seen or heard anything have you?"

"Hm," Ebony cocked her head to the side. "Not here. Try Berke's. He's sleazy enough to hire a minor." Ebony stood to signal the meeting was over.

Lex took the hint standing and heading towards the door with Keiran at his heels. "Thanks. I'll have Kiki back to you by tomorrow."

"Thanks for serving and protecting."

Lex smirked at her sarcasm as the door closed behind him.

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The day was nearly over and Lex and Keiran stopped for a couple slices of pizza. They'd be off duty in about a half hour and Lex offered to buy the kid an early dinner. Keiran was a good assistant, straight out of trade school. He was eager to work his way up through the ranks and flattered Lex allowed him to tag along. Any other kid in his shoes would be stuck in the office filing paperwork and delivering messages. They were walking back to the station when a voice blasted over the two way messenger Lex had strapped to his belt.

"What's up?"

"Problem at the city gate." The voice crackled back. "You're needed. And it's not pretty sir."

Lex sighed. "I'll take the trolley. Out." He gave Keiran a weak smile. "Looks like overtime."

"Want me to come along?"

Though he appreciated Keiran's support, Lex had an inkling that the boy wasn't ready to see what was going on at the gate.

"Naw, it's cool. Go. Clock out and have a nice night. See ya in the morning."

Keiran waved and watched Lex jump the trolley before continuing on his way.

The six trolleys in town were the only vehicles (with the exception of the ambulance and fire brigade) allowed in the New City and they all ran on a mixture of electricity and solar power. There were several horse drawn carriages which acted like cabs. They were more convenient but more expensive than the trolley considering they could be hailed and took you directly where you wanted to go. The trolley was more like a bus great for getting around the city in a hurry. Still most people used bicycles as their mode of transportation.

Lex jumped off the trolley before it came to a complete stop and sprinted to the city gate.

"What's up?" He asked while having his arm scanned for precautionary measures.

The young border guard shook his head. "Body sir. White female. Dumped right at the gate."

Lex walked with the guard toward the circle surrounding the girl on the ground.

"Did you scan her?"

He shook his head. "She had it removed through some scarification process."

"When was she found? Just now?"

"Right after shift change."  
"And no one saw anything?"

"Sorry sir. One minute there was no one there... the next."

Lex made a face. "Get the surveillance tapes."

"Sir..."

"I said get them." Lex snapped before pushing his way into the circle.

The girl lay on her stomach, her wild hair covering her face and blood was oozing from everywhere. A medic had already reached the scene and handed Lex a pair of gloves.

"Did you touch her yet?"

The woman shook her head. "Only to check her pulse. I wanted to wait for you to come and verify the scene."

Lex knelt down looking over the twisted body.

"How do you think she got here?"

"From the position of her body, I'm guessing she was dragged."

Lex studied the tracks in the dirt and nodded his head in agreement. The girl's clothes were old and dirty. Time and neglect had chewed holes throughout the fabrics which were discolored beyond recognition. That and the fact she had the tattoo on her arm removed proved she was from the Badlands. A dead kid from the dark side wouldn't ruffle anyone's feathers normally but having her dumped right at the gate with no witnesses might cause a stir. Lex looked around the surrounding area which was growing darker by the minute. Though this was the one road considered safe for coming to and leaving the city, it could still be dangerous at night.

"Let's get a Polaroid so we can get her out of here."

One flash bulb later and two guards flipped the girl over to move her into a body bag. Lex felt his breathe catch in his throat as her face came into view. She'd been severely beaten, her jaw looked broken and half of her face was cut and swollen. But none of that changed the fact that Lex knew it was May.


	4. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Mega stared blankly, the name having no affect on him.

"May." Lex repeated. "She was a Mallrat."

Mega continued to stare blankly. It was the following day and the finding of May had left Lex uneasy. He had another sleepless night sitting up and smoking in the dark as he stared out at the city. May disappeared nine months before without a trace. She used to dance in several different clubs including The Palace at one time or other. Before that she made an honest living and lived in a nice flat. She'd gotten mixed up with a new drug being manufactured somewhere in the Badlands which was somehow being smuggled into the New City.

The drug issue didn't matter to Mega who argued that the people had to have their fun. As long as it was kept on the sly. Once May went way of addiction, she couldn't hold it together. She was arrested and almost thrown out of the city but was placed on probation instead. Then she disappeared on her own. No scanning records indicated that she'd left the city suggesting she'd found a way over the wall. This seemed highly unlikely. Though the walls had access ladders placed there for repairs, the tops were covered in barbed wire and other nasty metals. A person trying to get in or out could literally be shredded.

"I still don't see why this matters." Mega finally spoke. "She left and got herself killed. From her records she was scraping bottom anyway so consider it suicide. Case closed."

Lex nodded from his position near the door. "I agree and it's not that I even care about her really... it's just," He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Doesn't it seem odd that someone would kill her and then drag her to the gate? As if they wanted her to be discovered. To make a point. And on top of that none of the border guards saw anything. I read the paper this morning and if I was a typical civilian I'd be afraid to travel the main road. That sort of press could kill our trades with the farms."

Mega ground his teeth together as he thought about Lex's logic. The success of the city required people to feel safe. He couldn't have some sand flea from the dark side threatening the illusion of safety he worked so hard to maintain.

"I just want permission to ask a few questions. It's most likely drug related and she didn't pay up. I just want to be sure."

"What about the surveillance tapes?"

Lex shook his head. "Somehow an entire five minutes is missing from the footage. The guard claims it was clicked off accidentally. Careless but I have no reason to think he's lying."

The door to Mega's office opened and a lovely Goddess of a woman stepped in. Her dark hair fell down her back in silky waves that swayed as she moved. She wore a hand sewn velvet maternity dress that came down to her leather boots. Her jewelry was tasteful and her makeup flawless. She smiled at both men before walking to Mega's desk.

Mega stood up and kissed her cheek. "Where are you going?"

"Shopping. And then I thought I'd stop by the school for story hour. I adore the little ones." She beamed.

Mega smiled back lost in her eyes. "Want me to call down so you'll have a buggy waiting?"

She shook her head gently. "I think I'll walk. It's not far and exercise is good for the baby."

"You're not going alone are you?" Concern in his voice.

"Connie is waiting for me in the lobby." She referred to her servant.

Lex looked down to hide the amusement on his face. Getting married to Chiava was the best thing to happen for Mega. Since their nuptials a year ago, he seemed almost human. She had to be the only person capable of bringing out the man behind the stony expression he always wore. His mechanical nature melted away every time he looked at her.

"Are you boys almost done?" She asked as Mega helped her with her chenille wrap.

"Yes." Mega nodded.

"Then perhaps Lex can walk me out." She looked at both men for their approval.

Lex waited for Mega to nod before he too nodded in agreement.

"Good." She met Mega's lips with her own. "I'll be in the hall" She smiled at Lex before slipping out the door.

Mega smiled at the door before catching himself and reclaiming his usual expression of disinterest.

"Alright Lex. Ask your questions. Just don't alarm anyone and don't let it affect your work."

"Thank you." Lex nodded before letting himself out.

Chiava met him with a smile as she waited for the elevator. Lex stood beside her in silence as the elevator dinged and then opened. Inside he pushed the button for the lobby and continued his silence. Mega and Chiava lived in sector one in the Shorefront which boasted the largest and finest apartments in the city. It had been a luxury hotel in the old world with perfect views of the ocean. During reconstruction, Mega's people renovated the suites creating large family apartments. Only the highest city officials were granted access to live in the Shorefront. Jay being a judge lived with Amber and their kids on the third floor though Lex never had any reason to visit them. Lex could live there if he wanted but he felt more comfortable in sector six with the common folk.

"I read about your friend." Chiava said softly. "The Mallrat. I'm sorry she's dead."

Lex stared at the numbers as they made their way down from the sixth floor. "She wasn't exactly my friend."

"I know but you did share a tribe once. She's part of your history. Something that should be remembered and respected."

Nodding, Lex gave her a small smile. "Thanks."

In the lobby Chiava gave him a slight hug. Lex made sure to keep his hands to himself aware of the cameras.

"Take care of yourself Lex." She waved before joining her servant out front.

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Lex knew he was late as he rang the doorbell, flowers in one hand. He began to blurt his apology as soon as the door opened.

"I'm sorry. I got caught up at work..."

The blond laughed. "Hey you!"

They greeted one another with cheek kisses as she let him in and took his coat.

"So like I said it was work..."

She waved him off. "Don't worry about it. We had a kitchen emergency so looks like we'll be ordering out. Come get comfortable but watch your step."

Lex followed careful not to step on one of the zillion toys that littered the hardwood floor. He could hear running footsteps upstairs and a toddler's laughter. The kitchen looked as though a blender had lost it's top while on frappe'. Stewed veggies and red sauce had splattered onto every surface of the usually pristine kitchen, including the ceiling. He chuckled as he sat on a bar stool careful not to touch any of the goo.

"Looks like a war went on."

"Yeah and Jeremiah won." The girl laughed and picked up the wash cloth she'd been using when Lex first knocked.

"Jenny?" A voice called down the stairs. "Who's here?"

"It's just Lex!" Jenny called back.

"Sorry Lex! I'll be right down!" There was laughter and fumbling in the hallway. "Jeremiah!" More running.

"You thirsty?" Jenny pointed towards the bar.

Lex shrugged. "Just a little."

Just as Jenny finished pouring the drinks Lex turned to see Salene coming down the stairs with a bouncing Vietnamese boy on her hip. She was soaked from chest to knee from trying to fight him in the tub.

"Hey you." She greeted him with a kiss to the cheek.

Lex held up the flowers and smirked. "We could always wrap them in your shirt. It's certainly wet enough."

Salene laughed as she took the flowers with her free hand. "Very funny. You just wait until you settle down. I can't wait to see you give one of these a bath."

Jeremiah giggled as he plucked off the head of one of the daisies. "F'ower." He pointed and sniffed dramatically.

Jenny and Lex laughed as Salene told the daisy head. "Miah," She scolded gently. "Don't ruin the nice flowers Lexy wexy brought for Mommy."

"Down." Jeremiah demanded sternly and raced off to the living room as soon as his bare toes touched the floor.

"He's growing fast." Lex remarked watching the strong little boy play with a dump truck. "He'll be taller than me any day now."

Salene caught the flicker of sadness cloud Lex's gray eyes momentarily and she knew he was thinking of the child he lost. Having lost her own baby once she understood it was a longing that never faded completely. She reached over and gently squeezed his arm and gave him a small smile.

"Let me help Jenny sort this mess out and we'll have dinner."

After a good scrubbing, in which Lex rolled up and his sleeves and helped, two bedtime stories and a quick run to the Fry-up Hut down the street, the three friends sat around the living room rubbing their full stomachs. Since coming to the New City Lex and Salene had made it a tradition to have dinner once a week. In the beginning Salene had tried to involve other Mallrats but their new lives interceded and it never caught on. She was now the only former Mallrat Lex ever saw on a regular friendly basis and they'd grown quite close.

Salene worked as a teacher and was chairman at the Children's Home. She worked with unwanted and orphaned children both from the Badlands and the New City. Finding them homes when possible and helping them find their own way when it wasn't possible. That was how she came across Jeremiah. A routine sweep through the dark side turned up a week old baby in a dumpster. Lex himself chose to bring the struggling infant to Salene knowing that if he wasn't going to make it, she'd love him enough for a lifetime. But Miah defied the odds and flourished under her care. A month later they were officially mother and son. Seven months ago she met Jenny who was a new volunteer. Jenny was about four years younger but the two of them hit it off from the start. Within a couple months Jenny had moved in and they were playing "My Two Moms" with Miah.

"Aw man," Jenny moaned. " I have to get to bed."

Lex glanced at the clock. "It's not even nine."

"She has to be at the paper by four." Salene gazed softly into space.

"Yup. Poor me." Jenny rolled off the couch and sprawled onto the floor making the three of them laugh loudly. "Shhhhh!" She stifled her laughter with a finger to her lips. "Don't you dare wake up that boy!"

"Drink much?" Lex teased and Salene hid her laughter behind a pillow.

Jenny smacked him with another throw pillow before kissing Salene goodnight and stumbling upstairs. After they were left alone Lex and Salene sat silently. Finally Salene kicked Lex's leg forcing him out of his revere'. He looked over at her.

"You're thinking about May aren't you?" She asked knowingly. "And the others."

He didn't answer. Not that he needed to. They'd talked about this every year around the anniversary of their leaving the mall. The last day they were Mallrats. It haunted Lex and put him in a dark mood all season. The separation had left a large open gash within his soul that never seemed to heal properly and was reopened every fall.

"I understand Lex." Salene said gently. "We were all orphans forced together by fate and eventually became a family. We went through so much together and for the most part managed to survive it. And everything we hoped for and fought for, we finally got it with this city. And ironically this is the one thing that finally ripped us apart. Almost like being orphaned all over again."

Lex swallowed at the truth of her words.

"But you can't let it ruin you." Salene continued. "Remember the good times with a smile and forget the sad times. I know it will always hurt a little but you have to move on."

"I've moved on." Lex said unconvincingly.

"Have you?" Sitting up Salene tossed a pillow at him. "What other close friends do you spend time with besides Jen and me? When was the last time you went out socially? The last time you had a date?" She nudged his stiff knee. "The last time you had a girlfriend Lex."

He held the pillow tightly using it as a shield against her words. As though silence would make them less true.

Salene knelt beside him and stroked his cheek. "We've all been hurt hun but you can't keep blocking people out because your scared. Let someone in Lex."

Though he didn't want to hear them, he appreciated the kindness of her words and gave her a slight smile.

"I'll try."


	5. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

"Ahhh, back so soon." Ebony frowned. "Did ya miss me or something?"

"This isn't a social visit Eb," Lex leaned in her office doorway the following day. "I got some questions about May."

Ebony rolled her eyes." What about her?"

Lex shrugged as he came into the room and fell into a chair. "Anything you can tell me."

"You're not playing detective over a dead beat drug addict like May are you? Please don't waste my time."

"What can you tell me about her before she skipped town? Who was she spending time with? Did she mention anything about leaving the city?"

Ebony absently flipped through some papers on her desk. "I know this isn't Mega's doing because he couldn't give two shits about someone like May biting it on the dark side. You're doing this on your own for some psychotic reason. Seriously Lex I think you're losing it in your old age..."

"Christ!" Lex groaned. "Just tell me what you know you fuckin' midget of evil!"

An amused smirk played on Ebony's lips at the small glimpse of the old Lex she once loved to hate.

"Look, if you're looking for her killer you're asking the wrong bitch. May was so far gone by that time no one knew what she was thinking. Her habit was too big to be handled by dealers in the city so she went to the source. I'm guessing one of your border guards let her through without scanning her. She prob'ly did him a 'southern favor'." She purred teasingly. "Anyway, her dealer prob'ly took her out to set an example for the other junkies out there with bad debts. It's not worth giving yourself a headache."

Lex stared at her, his brow furrowed.

"What?" Ebony narrowed her eyes back at him. "That's all I know. I can't tell you anymore."

"Can't or wont?"

"Jesus Lex, drop the Sherlocke Holmes bit. It was only May."

Lex stood abruptly and swung the door open. "Thanks a lot." He snapped and slammed the door behind him.

"What the hell is wrong with him?"

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Lex stared out into the night, the smoke from his joint curling around him like a snake. Another shitty day. Another sleepless night. He wasn't sure why he was letting May's death affect him like this. There had been a time when he would have gladly killed her himself. It wasn't as if she'd been an innocent victim. May was a creature of opportunity who often turned on those closest to her. Her bad energy finally caught up to her.

"Bad energy," He said out loud. "Damn you Taisan. Get out of my head."

To add to the aggravation, Gel's husband descended upon the office in a hailstorm of hysterics filling out a harassment complaint. Someone had threatened Gel's life though she wouldn't say who or what they wanted from her. That left the Techno officers with little to do about it. Though it was obvious she was scared out of her mind, she wouldn't open her mouth and help herself. Lex had grown so frustrated with her he wanted to throw her through a damn window.

Gel was lucky she still had her looks because there wasn't a brain in that girl's head. Her face was her only fortune in life. That lovely puss was what convinced her most loyal client at the club to marry her and whisk her away to a better life. Every stripper's dream was Gel's reality. Only stupid people got that lucky. Though Gel remained silent over the identities of those who had threatened her, her husband was sure it was an old contact from the club trying to scare her for money. He wanted added security in their building and a Techno escort for Gel whenever she left the house. It was a nightmare.

Lex looked over at the clock. Three-fifteen am. Looked like he was pulling another all niter. The smallest of smiles played on his lips as he thought back to guard duty in the mall. He and Ryan pulling shifts to keep their band of misfits safe. Something was always happening to keep them on their toes. If it hadn't been so frightening at the time it would have been exhilarating. It meant something to stay awake for all hours back then. It was important to protect the tribe. Now it was stupid and pointless. There was nothing to watch out for. He glanced at his empty unmade bed. No one to protect. Salene was right. He needed a woman or at least some female company. Someone to keep his mind off the Mallrats. Something to keep him from going nuts.

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A week later Lex found himself with Salene and Jeremiah at the park down the street from her flat. She'd surprised him with a lunch invite instead of dinner.

"I thought you needed a little fun in the sun." She told him. "Winter will be here soon."

They chased Miah, blew bubbles, pushed swings, climbed trees and spun the merry go round more times than Lex wanted to remember. Less than two hours later Salene and Lex strolled the sidewalk while Miah napped in his pram. It felt good to be out in the crisp November air. The sector three neighborhood was peaceful yet alive with the families that lived there. Familiar scents of the season, pumpkin pie and apples, gave a feeling of home and safety. They could see and hear the waves crashing into the beach. Some die hards were out there in wet suits trying to catch a perfect wave.

"Just looking at them makes me cold." Salene shivered.

"That's because it is cold." Lex muttered as he lifted Jeremiah's pram into the diner doorway. He was careful not to wake the toddler and gently rolled him to a booth that overlooked the street. He helped Salene with her coat before sliding into his seat. After they'd ordered and were served their food, they ate silently staring out at the world.

Lex had always liked sector three though it was slightly too domestic for his taste. It was very family oriented with most everyone coupled and having children. And unlike sector one, it wasn't about the money. Being located near the front gates, many self made people grew their own food and traded with the farms outside the city. Compared to other sectors it was humble with few businesses. It was mostly residential and had a great sense of community.

"You know what I miss?" Salene broke the silence as she nibbled at her apple cake.

"What?" Lex didn't look away from the window.

"Yeast."

Their eyes met as he tried to measure whether or not she was joking.

"Yeast?"

"Yes. Cake is meant to rise." Salene said sincerely before breaking into a laugh.

Lex laughed with her. "I hear ya. What I wouldn't give for a risen crust pizza."

"We've come so far and yet have so much more to learn." Salene tucked some auburn hair behind her ear. "Speaking of breakthrough science, are you going to Jack's wedding this weekend?"

Staring down at his plate Lex shook his head.

"Why not? He'll want to see you. It's been what, two years since you've seen each other socially?"

"Two and a half." He corrected still not looking up. "Since Ellie lost the baby. He wont miss me."

"Yes he will." Salene insisted. "It's been forever since he's seen any of us. He'll expect his friends to be there. I hear his fiance is real nice."

"I'm surprised he found time to meet anyone at all. He became so obsessed with his work after the divorce. A complete recluse."

Sal nodded. "True he did drift away from the land of the living. Losing your wife and kid can do that to a man." Their eyes met. "You of all people should understand that."

"I know,"

"Ellie getting remarried so quickly didn't make things easier. I'm surprised he didn't go crazy."

Lex thought back to the tragedy that ripped Jack and Ellie apart for good. Their two year marriage had been marred with disaster, the couple constantly threatening to call it quits. Though they'd briefly reconciled during the pregnancy, they still fought over Jack's long hours at the science department. Ellie came to hate his quest to make a better world and berated him over it continuously. In her seventh month the pair had a terrible row that resulted in Ellie's premature labor and the delivery of a dead baby. After that it seemed there was no going back though Jack tried. Despite their differences he really loved her and wanted her back. Ellie on the other hand couldn't face him, partly blaming him for the loss of her child. She moved out and a month later stunned all by announcing her engagement to some man they'd never heard of. He turned out to be one of the city kids taken and put through the Techno rehab. Their marriage two weeks later drove Jack inward and he shut himself up with his work for months. Almost completely cutting ties with the other Mallrats.

"We should all be there to support him." Salene continued about the wedding.

"I know." Lex nodded. "I'll prob'ly have to work though. A wedding requires extra security."

"Well maybe you'll be able to stop by the reception. It's supposed to be a big gala. Amber says they've reserved the entertainment hall in the Shorefront."

"If I don't make it I'll be sure to message him a congratulations." Lex sipped his Tocum hoping that last statement would end the conversation.

Salene was about to say more but was interrupted by a small hand tugging her arm. She looked down into her son's smiling face, sleep lines etched in his chubby cheeks.

"Cake!" Jeremiah pointed happily causing Lex and Salene to laugh.

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He never made it to the wedding having to spend most of the day rearranging security around the city. Because he and Chiava were attending the nuptials, Mega wanted airtight security at the wedding. Lex stayed on the move making sure the Techno guard didn't wear too thin in trouble areas such as sector seven and the city gate. By the time he trudged into his flat, he didn't have the energy to make dinner. Determined to get some actual sleep, he took a pain killer while gulping what was known as 'sleepy time tea'. Within twenty minutes he felt it's effects and passed out on his bed.

The knocking was consistent and loud. Lex's eyes slowly opened as he realized someone was pounding on his door.

"Lieutenant Lex! Sir?"

He rolled over and looked at his clock. One am.

"Damn!" Was he doomed never to sleep through a night again?

He stumbled out of bed barking at the knocker before finally opening the door. It was a young messenger boy no older than twelve. He looked terrified as Lex growled at him.

"What!"

The boy's hand trembled as he held out the folded message.

"I... I... uh... Governor Mega s...s...sends for you... it's... important." He stuttered.

Snatching it Lex's aggravation quickly turned to apprehension as he read the scribbled writing.

"Go downstairs and hail me a buggy." He commanded the boy. "I'll be right down."

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He arrived at the flat just in time to see Amber being wheeled out on a stretcher. Her unconscious pregnant form was covered in defensive wounds with a large nasty gash to her forehead. The flat she and Jay shared was completely trashed, evidence of the struggle that went on. Jay's lifeless body lay face down in a large pool of blood next to what used to be a white sofa. Now it was splattered with crimson as was everything else. It was enough to make his stomach turn.

Lex couldn't imagine for a moment that the couple could do this to each other yet he didn't understand why someone else would do it to them either. Security had been called when a neighbor complained about loud shouting and glass breaking. But when they knocked on the door of the flat it was silent. One concerned guard who knew the family well thought it best to open the door and found the horrible scene. No one believed for a second it was domestic. The theory was that someone broke in and attacked Jay who had retired early that evening. Amber must have walked into it when returning late from the wedding reception which had lasted well into the night. No one was positive but it looked as though Jay was the target and Amber more of an innocent bystander who put up the fight of her life. Lex was welcomed by a fellow detective. Lieutenant Ari worked the night shift and usually got stuck with the strangest cases.

"Sorry to call you out of bed but as you can see..." Ari shook her head.

"Yeah," Lex nodded and avoided looking at Jay. "Who the hell would do this?"

"I dunno man." Ari sighed. "We've got the Techno guard on high alert all over the city. I mean, Jay was a judge and there are some assholes out there who'd wanna get back at him."

"But who in their right mind would dare break into the Shorefront?"

"Someone willing to take a gamble... and won." Ari grimaced.

Lex shook his head. "What about surveillance?"

"Okay this is where it gets weird," Ari lowered her voice as she leaned into Lex's ear. "There's absolutely no footage of anyone but Jay and security coming to this flat."

"What!" Lex narrowed his eyes.

Ari nodded. "Not even Amber. The tapes were looped so whoever did this wouldn't be caught."

"But that would mean..."

"That someone had access to the security office. Scary, I know." Ari finished for him. "We're checking the rest of the tapes for anyone who shouldn't be in the building."

"That wont help." Lex sighed. "With the wedding and reception this building was full of people who shouldn't be here. Anyone could have come and blended in perfectly."

"Yeah but not all of them left with a six year old boy."

"What?"

Ari cocked her head. "Security only found one kid. The three year old hiding under her bed. The oldest is still missing."

"Someone took Bray?"

"Looks like it."

"You're not suggesting kidnapping was the motive?" Lex frowned. "If someone wanted Bray they could have done it at his school, or the park or someplace public."

"No, you're right. Jay was definitely the target here. But Bray is one of our strongest leads right now."

"Though I don't know what murderer wants a kid as a bonus." Lex shook his head.

"An ex girlfriend maybe." Ari shrugged. "Scorned lover wanting to hurt them both."

Lex looked around at the shattered apartment. "Would take more than one ex girlfriend to make this mess."

Ari nodded in agreement. "We're definitely looking for at least three people. One for the security office, two for in here. Maybe four."

Lex felt the bile raise in his throat as Jay's limp body was placed into a body bag. Another person from his past was dead. His young life snuffed out before it's time. Would anyone from his generation live to be old? Perhaps they were cursed because they outlived the virus. Maybe death had a vengeance and it would hunt them all down one by one. He shook the dark thought out of his head.

"I still can't believe it happened here." Ari whispered. "Especially today with so much security."

Lex was disheartened as he watched the bag carried from the flat. "Not enough apparently."

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As he made his way up to Mega's flat, Lex chastised himself for not concentrating more of the Techno guard at the Shorefront. Instead of trying to spread it evenly throughout the city. This wasn't the first time he'd made a bad call. Though he knew it wasn't necessarily his fault, he couldn't help but feel partly to blame. If someone had to be at fault it might as well be him. He was surprised to find Chiava in the living room crying on the couch. Mega's angry shouts could be heard from his office.

"Chiava?"

She looked up at him with red swollen eyes and hugged herself. Lex instinctively sat down next to her and placed a gentle hand on hers.

"What happened? Are you and..." He gestured subtly to Mega's office door. "...Okay?"

Her hazel eyes looked confused for a moment before she caught what he meant. She quickly nodded her head, the dark waves of hair spilling over her shoulders. "We're fine. I...I heard about Jay and Amber." The tears spilled down her cheeks.

Lex sighed and put a protective arm around her as she sobbed into his shoulder. Though they were close, his body remained stiff and unyielding as though he were subconsciously fighting the intimate moment. This was Mega's wife after all and he didn't want anyone to see them and get the wrong idea. But it also had to do with the fact that Lex avoided most forms of intimacy with anyone. What was the point when everyone he loved was taken from him eventually?

"How could anyone do that?" She soaked his pullover. "I don't understand. They didn't deserve that."

"No, they didn't." Lex agreed quietly.

"Poor Amber. What if she doesn't wake up? What if she does wake up and she loses the baby? And the kids... little Soleil and Bray. My God Bray! What if they don't find him? He's just a little boy. What if Amber wakes up and he's still gone!"

"Don't think about it." Lex comforted. "We'll find him."

"Just when you think you've seen the worst that humanity has to offer." She sat up and wiped her face. "You wouldn't think that anything could surprise us after what we've seen. The forgotten generation."

Those words made him sigh. How true they were.

The office door slammed open causing the apartment to tremble slightly. A Techno guard nearly ran to the front door as Mega appeared in the doorway. Lex had never seen him like this. He was so angry he practical shook with rage. His hands balled into fists so tight his knuckles were pure white. The muscles of his jaw were rigidly clenched and Lex wouldn't have been surprised if he could have heard the man's teeth grinding together. Nothing upset Mega more than incompetence and lack of control. He was pissed. But the anger in his dark eyes melted almost immediately when he focused on his wife. The look of hate on his face dissolving into concern as he struggled to find his calmer voice.

"Chi," He said almost hoarse from yelling and rushed to the couch. "What are you doing up?"

"I'm sorry," She sniffed as she stood up to greet him. "I over heard..." She didn't finish as she broke down.

"It's alright," Mega took her in his arms and tried to comfort his sobbing wife. There was a new look in his eyes. One of fear and love.

Lex looked away feeling as though he'd experienced far too many emotions for one night.

"You shouldn't be upsetting yourself like this. It's not good for you. For either of you." He gently touched her enlarged abdomen.

Chiava nodded. "I know."

"Connie!" Mega called loudly for the servant, annoyance in his tone.

Connie, who seemed to have been waiting just outside the room appeared still dressed in her day clothes.

"Give her a tranquilizer and make her some tea." He ordered without taking his eyes off Chiava. "I want her resting."

He kissed her forehead softly before Connie gently led her from the room. His eyes remained on the closed bedroom door as his mind raced. Lex shifted in the uncomfortable silence pondering what sort of trouble he was in. He watched as Mega's body slowly regained it's rigid stance.

"Lex," Mega finally spoke, his voice uneven. "I want answers. Go."

Relieved to be released Lex sprang from the couch and nodded to his boss before letting himself out. Even as he was leaving he could see Mega's eyes stayed glued on the bedroom door.


	6. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

The memorial service was held two days later in Sector two. The section of beach reserved for funereal piers where the dead could be burned. The people were in an uproar having one of their judges killed in the most secure building in the city. Security at the service was a nightmare and only certain citizens of high rank were allowed within the gates that surrounded the piers. Lex chose to stay outside the gates and deal with the throng along side his fellow guards.

He could see the proceedings though he couldn't hear anything over the crowd. He saw several of the former Mallrats and their families paying their respects. Salene sat holding Jenny's hand while Jeremiah wiggled in her lap. Jack's new wife was quite pretty even as she shot daggers at Ellie, her husband and their infant daughter. He was surprised to see KC and his girlfriend. After the Techno rehab KC was never the same. While he remembered his old tribe he didn't seem to have any emotional attachment to their shared past. He was like a shell of his former self. That was an unfortunate common side effect of the rehabilitation process. Lex continued to stare at the familiar faces. Cloe, Gel and Sammy. Even Ebony had made an appearance and was allowed to attend.

The only time the crowd was quiet was when the pier was lit and Jay's corpse engulfed in flames. Lex was happy Amber wasn't here to see this. She still hadn't woken up and remained in intensive care at the hospital. To lose another father of her children would be more than anyone could bear. Even Amber who was the best, next to Ebony, at putting on a brave face.

He'd spent the last two days investigating the murder with no avail. The Techno guard was on high alert all over the city but young Bray was yet to be found. It seemed whomever was responsible for the crime was clear of the city now. This brought about the disturbing thought that those involved had help from the inside. People working in the city with access to the city computer's main frame.

After the service Lex kept out of site wanting to avoid any moments with his "friends". As the beach cleared out and he thought it was safe to emerge, he was surprised by Gel. Her annoyingly pretty face was the last one he wanted to see at the moment. He attempted to brush her off with claims of having to get back to work, but her small plea was enough to stop him.

"It'll only be a minute," She said quietly. Her eyes were red from crying throughout the service but there was more than grief written on her face.

"What is it?"

Gel was silent for a few minutes as she tried to find her voice. Lex grew impatient but felt compulsed to hear whatever it was she was going to say.

"I never meant for this to happen." She finally whimpered.

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "They just wanted to know where she was. They told me they'd kill me if I didn't tell them."

"What?" Lex narrowed his eyes and stared at her. "What are you talking about? Who... Who said they'd kill you? Who were they looking for?"

"Amber." She whispered, her watery eyes full of guilt.

"Amber?" Lex grabbed her shoulders gently. "Gel, what about Amber? Who said they'd kill you?"

Her lower lip trembled. "I don't know who they are. It was a man and a woman and they wanted to know where Amber was. They knew I was apart of the tribe and they were going to kill me if I didn't tell them where to find her." She looked down as the tears came. "I was so scared I didn't know what to do. So I told them that she and Jay lived in the Shorefront and then they said if I said anything to anyone, they'd come back and kill me. But I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Not like this."

Gel broke down completely and Lex, shocked at her confession, found himself hugging her. This was something he had to tell Mega right away. He quickly thanked Gel and told her it would be alright before taking off. He wasn't far from the Shorefront so he decided to skip the chaos in the streets and ran along the beach until the large complex was in view.

Chiava had gone to lay down as soon as they returned from the service while Mega sat thinking in the living room. Lex was surprised to find him like that considering Mega never seemed to do anything other than work in his office when at home. He apologized for intruding before repeating what Gel had told him.

"Which means Jay wasn't the target, Amber was." He reasoned breathlessly. "And Bray prob'ly has more to do with this than we originally thought."

Mega nodded thoughtfully as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. It was odd to see him this way, a hint of defeat in his dark eyes. Perhaps losing Jay affected him more than he was letting on. Could it be he considered Jay to be more than a useful ally on the counsel? Was it possible he and Jay forgot the past, respected each other, maybe even became friends?

"Anyway," Lex shook the thoughts out of his head. None of that mattered now. "I wanted you to know before I went down to the station..."

"No." Though quiet, Mega's voice was firm. "I want you to go home."

"What?" Lex was confused. "What are you talking about? This is a new lead. We gotta start asking questions..."

"And we will," Mega interrupted turning to look at Lex. "But you've been working for the past forty-eight hours straight and frankly you look like shit. Records show you haven't even clocked out."

This was true. Since the night of the murder, Lex had been chasing leads all over the city. Checking over the city computer's surveillance files, asking around, interrogating guards who'd been on duty but hadn't seen anything. He hadn't slept, he'd barely eaten and he hadn't even changed his clothes.

"You're one of my best men," Mega continued. "But I need you crisp. You're no good to me half dead."

Lex was about to protest but Mega just nodded towards the door.

"Go home and sleep or something. You used to have a life: go find it."

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Though shocked that he even gave a shit, Lex took Mega's advice and went home after clocking out at the station. He ordered some pizza, showered and threw on a pair of boxers. After many hours of sitting around, trying to sleep and failing miserably, he decided to do something to get his mind off the case. He pondered how long it had been since he'd shared his bed. When was the last time he'd reached over to feel the feminine curves of the fairer sex. Had his fingertips graze over silken skin or through sweet smelling tresses of hair.

After a few minutes of debating he slipped the messenger boy in his building an order for The Palace. It was a request for someone sweet, not interested in talking and loaded with skills. He didn't like to usually deal with Ebony's girls for various reasons, one being most were so young, but she employed the best call girls in the city. When she'd first brought up the idea of home delivery to Mega, he was pleased because it would keep many of his city officials from getting caught at the clubs.

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Ebony laughed when she received the message from Lex. After all his of protesting against her club, he was requesting a personal visit. He must be desperate, she thought to herself. The Palace was busy tonight, the floor full of dancing, teasing girls and drooling, paying patrons. The private rooms were practically all booked but Ebony knew exactly who to send over. This was a special request after all. She had to send over a special kind of girl.

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Lex sat lost in a mass of thoughts, the knock on the door bringing him back to reality. No surprise he was thinking about the Mallrats again. Nothing specific, just short images flashing through his mind like a slide show. How depressed could he get? Only by adding a musical score could his thoughts get any more pathetic. When he opened the door and looked back at the familiar face, he almost slammed it again. He managed to stop himself and stared at the girl dressed like a librarian so as not to attract attention to herself. Though anyone who favored The Palace would know who she was if they took a good look.

"Kiki,"

"Lieutenant Lex." She purred.

"What are you doing here?" He asked already knowing the answer.

"Whatever you want." She smirked.

"I bet Ebony's having a good laugh over this." He shook his head.

Kiki blinked innocently. "What do you mean?"

Lex stared back at the young girl a moment and then glanced the camera recording their rapport in the corner of the hall. Finally he opened the door wider and Kiki slipped in past him. As he shut the door she dropped her wool coat and looked around. She was sporting a blouse and skirt set made for old ladies but the frumpy get up didn't hide her lovely curves.

"Nice place." She nodded at the bay windows. "Small though. I thought someone like you would be shacked up at the Shorefront. Or at least in another sector."

"I like it here." Lex mumbled and lit a spice joint. He pointed at the leftover pizza on the counter. "You hungry?"

"Sure," Kiki answered as she unbuttoned her blouse.

Lex felt hypnotized as he watched the garment drop down her perfect shoulders and finally fall to the floor. It revealed a barely there negligee the shade of peach which complimented her fair skin tone. She continued to stare out the window as she inched her skirt down. Lex had to stop his jaw from dropping at the sight of her thong. He looked away quickly as she turned to him.

"What you got to offer?" She slinked over to the counter.

He nudged the plate of pizza closer to her without taking his eyes off the wall. He wondered how a thirteen year old had come to possess such a fantastic body. It should be illegal, but in this world Kiki was an adult free to make her own choices. And he was free to do what he liked with her though he was eleven years her senior.

Kiki ignored the food and pressed herself up against Lex, her small hands running up his bare chest.

"I see you dressed for me." She purred and tugged at the drawstring of his boxers. "Silk agrees with you."

He closed his eyes, his heart pounding as her warm lips pressed to his skin. He felt frozen for a minute as she slowly slipped her hands into forbidden places. Once upon a time he would have slept with anyone who made eyes at him, but he wasn't that teenager anymore. Suddenly Lex came to his senses and gently pushed her off him.

"Stop." He said simply moving to the opposite side of the room.

Kiki laughed not getting it. "I've never heard that before." She made a move towards him only to have him step away. She frowned. "Playing hard to get?"

"No." Lex shook his head and puffed his joint. "Look I'm sorry but Ebony shouldn't have sent you over. She only did it as a joke."

Kiki smirked. "So you didn't request a home delivery?"

He sighed. "Yes I did but not you."

"And what's wrong with me?" She gave him a playful pout and moved closer. "You're not attracted to me?"

Lex chuckled at her persistence as she trailed a finger down his arm. "You... you're... come on you know you're gorgeous."

She smiled flirtatiously stepping close enough to lean up and kiss his flustered face. "Then what's wrong? Don't tell me the great Lex is shy."

He sighed and turned his head from her lips. "I don't sleep with kids."

A hint of defiance mixed with hurt flashed through her pretty eyes as she stepped back. For a second her face was blank as she regrouped and then her beautiful lips twisted into a devilish smile. She slowly turned from him.

"Bet you weren't worried about that when you were fucking Zandra."

Lex felt his muscles tense and he saw red at the mention of his first wife's name.

"How old was she, twelve?"

Kiki snickered as she turned to face him. She barely had a chance to scream as he lunged at her, one hand gripped tightly around her small throat. Lex slammed the girl against the wall, his face contorted with rage.

"How do you know her name!" He shouted.

Her breath caught in her throat, Kiki stared back in absolute dread. She'd heard stories of Lex being a hot head back in the day but no one would have guessed it about the Techno Lieutenant now. He seemed too bored with life to get upset about anything. She couldn't even pretend she wasn't afraid after witnessing the hatred in his eyes.

"How do you know about Zandra!" Lex demanded again when she didn't answer.

"I...I... Ebony!" Kiki sputtered her eyes filling with tears. "She said you'd think... it was a... a... turn on!"

Lex felt his anger dissolve as quickly as it sprang up as he stared into the face of a child scared for her life. He pulled his hand away from her surprised at his own violent reaction. He stepped back trying to steady his heavy breathing. Salene would tell him this was the result of his repressing his emotions. Kiki slid down the wall and drew her knees in close to her body, her eyes never leaving him.

"I'm sorry," Lex shook his head. "That's... a sensitive subject."

"Obviously." Kiki mumbled with her arms wrapped around herself. Her narrow eyes continued to watch as Lex picked up his fallen joint and sat on the edge of his coffee table. He dropped his head and ran a hand through his shaggy dark hair.

"You should go." He said quietly.

"I can't."

He didn't look up. "Why?"

"She'll kill me." Kiki referred to Ebony. "She'll never believe you turned me down. No one ever has. Besides it's almost curfew. I wont make it back in time."

Lex looked up and sighed. He'd forgotten about the curfew that required slaves to be indoors by a certain time of night. Was it that late already? Looked like he was stuck with Kiki for the rest of the night. She waited for him to say something and seriously worried over what was going through his mind. She hadn't meant to do anything wrong. Ebony told her he was a special client who liked his women hard. She was only trying to play the part. She didn't even know anything about Zandra. It was just a line Ebony gave her to use. A line to get him hot and bothered.

"Look I'm sorry about the Zandra thing." She offered helplessly still not moving from her position on the floor. "I didn't know. I...I thought you liked that kinda thing."

She was answered with another sigh as Lex continued to smoke and stare at the floor. She'd never noticed before how sad he looked. His handsome face haunted, his shoulders weighed down by something inexplicable. She recognized the look. Seen it in the faces of so many of his generation. Kids lucky enough to survive the virus only to succumb to the horror that followed. Slowly she stood and approached him, resting a timid hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She repeated softly.

He finally looked up at her and gave her a half smile. "Sorry for choking you."

Kiki smirked. "Well, some girls like that sorta thing."

This made the two of them chuckle and Kiki relaxed enough to play with a few tufts of his hair.

"We can still, ya know." She gazed down flirtatiously. "I mean you have me here all night."

Lex found himself almost smiling as he stood and placed his hands on Kiki's shoulders.

"I'm not sleeping with you." He said gently, amusement in his voice. "But don't worry, I'll pay you anyway. Ebony won't be the wiser." He walked to the kitchen counter and snuffed out his joint in the ashtray. "You'll stay here tonight. Have something to eat, amuse yourself. You can have the bed." He gestured towards his bedroom door.

"Where you gonna sleep?" Kiki followed him to the counter and leaned against it.

"I don't sleep." He mumbled pouring himself a glass of what was left of his moonshine.

She watched him with curious eyes. "This is the first home delivery I've had ya know. I wanted to do a good job cause Ebony said you were like a special assignment. Are you sure you don't wanna...?" She battered her eyelashes.

Lex smirked as he sipped from his glass. "Get dressed Kiki."


	7. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Lex stared at the water going down the drain. He knew he shouldn't waste it and let it run like that but he made no move for the faucet. It was four am. and there he was, wide awake standing around in his bathroom. He wished he could blame it on the fact that Kiki was sleeping in his bed in one of his t-shirts and he couldn't get comfortable on the couch. But he knew that regardless of her presence he was awake because of them. The Mallrats. He'd lay awake all night reliving past memories, each saddening him a bit more. He had regrets, many involving his last moments with someone he never saw again: Taisan, Bray, Ryan, Alice... They were all gone and he would do just about anything to go back and fix those moments. If only he'd known.

A figure dressed in dark, concealing clothing stood over the sleeping form on the bed. He reached into the folds of his garment to reveal a large knife which reflected the small amount of light coming through the window. Kiki stirred and a strange sound escaped her lips as the knife plunged down into her chest.

Lex stared at the bathroom door. Had he heard something? He stood straining to hear some sound before having the good sense to turn off the water. Only silence came from the bedroom. Even Kiki's light snoring had stopped. He shrugged and looked into the mirror one last time before shutting off the light and opening the door. He glanced at the bed as he walked over to the window.

Kiki had wrapped herself up in the blankets with only an arm exposed as it dangled off the bed. He smirked and lit a joint. The city was quiet and Lex wondered if he was the only person not working awake at this hour. His ears picked up a strange sound. Was that dripping? He glanced towards his bedroom door but the drip sounded closer than the kitchen. Had he failed to turn the faucet completely off in the bathroom. He listened more intently. It sounded too thick to be water. Lex frowned and looked at Kiki's still form on the bed. He could barely make her out in the darkness but what light was available illuminated her thin arm. Lex looked harder and realized there was something dark on her skin. Something that was dripping onto the floor. The joint dropped from his mouth and before he could make a move towards the bed, the darkness in the room came alive and attacked him.

There had to be at least three of them in there Lex thought frantically as he defended himself from invisible punches and kicks. He felt the metal of a blade just barely slice his cheek. He plowed forward into an attacker sending him off his feet and leaped over the bed. Tripping over Kiki, Lex hit the floor on the other side and tried to reach for his lamp. In seconds they were on him again and he could feel his body being pinned down. They were going to kill him. Lex screamed as he reached within for his primal strength and broke free of their grasp. The fight continued into the living room, Lex picking up and throwing every object he came into contact with. His attackers were relentless and seemed invulnerable to pain though he did hear one of them cry out as a paper weight hit him in the head. Still they came at him and in his fight to survive, Lex had no time to hit a light switch. He had a deep need to know who the hell these assholes were for his gut told him they had killed Jay as well.

In the kitchen he found himself backed against the counter and managed to grab himself a knife of his own. He swiped blindly at the dark figures closing in on him. There was a scream as blade met flesh and one retreated slightly. Lex wondered if he could back them off enough to make it out the front door. Suddenly something sharp stuck into his shoulder and Lex cried out and dropped the knife. Had they thrown a dart at him? Another object just missed his head and crashed through the kitchen window behind him. Just as he was tackled yet again, Lex realized he would never make it to the door and the fire escape was his only hope. Landing a hard kick to his attacker's chest allowed him to break free and without a thought Lex threw himself into the remaining glass.

He landed on the fire escape and gasped at the pain. He was sure a shard of glass was sticking into the soft tissue between his shoulder blades. Still he had no time time to think about it as he jumped up and started to climb down the rickety steps. Above him two of his attackers followed and Lex briefly wondered where the other one had gone. As his socks touched ground Lex glanced up and down the alley way behind his apartment building. Which was the fastest way to the street? He was about to go left when he heard the running. Then he saw a dozen of people in black coming down the alley towards him.

"What the fu...!"

"Get him!" One of the attackers above him shouted.

Lex took off in a full sprint with the mob after him. The insanity of the situation was barely registering as he frantically mapped out his escape route. In his distracted state of mind he took a wrong turn and found himself face to face with the border wall of the city. Unable to turn back and retrace his steps he raced along the wall looking for another break in the buildings in which he could find his way to the street. His pursuers raced after him silently, only the drumbeat of their feet hitting the pavement giving them away. Lex was suddenly dismayed to see a tall gate up ahead of him. A dead end. He was trapped and this realization caused him to start yelling for help. He hoped his cries would wake people up in the dark apartments running along side the alley. He slammed into the gate and desperately tried to scale it but it was too tall.

"Shit!"

Lex looked around for a weapon even though he knew it would be pointless to try and fight off that mob. They were just down the block and would be on him in a few seconds. With only moments to live Lex noticed the access ladder that went up the border wall. He immediately started to climb the rungs while thinking how pointless a venture this was. The top of the wall was impassable with it's sharp shards of twisted metal. Forget about the three story drop to the other side.

The group in black stopped at the wall and stared up the ladder. Even in the darkness Lex could make out a small smirk on one of the faces. They knew he was dead. Either by their hands or by the deadly fall that awaited him. Lex paused when he reached the top and wondered which way he preferred to go. The border wall was three feet thick so he was staring at thirty six inches of home made razor wire. He looked back at the buildings and saw a light in one of the windows. Desperately he yelled for help again. Even as his voice died in the night he knew the Techno guard wouldn't get to him in time. He didn't think the mob below him would sit and wait for help. On cue, as if they'd read his mind, someone was ordered to climb the access ladder. Suddenly Lex knew it was time to choose his death. If he was going to die, he wouldn't go easy. This guy was going to have to earn his blood.

At first Lex used his free leg to kick at the man ascending the ladder which only halted his progress a little. His attacker maneuvered his way up while blocking the blows Lex relentlessly rained down on him. He seemed almost impervious to any pain, his dark eyes vacant of feeling. The cold, determined look on his face startled Lex more than their present situation. Both men dangled precariously three stories up while hitting one another. Somehow the man in black made headway up the ladder until he was just above Lex. He smirked evilly now that he had the advantage. Lex spat blood as he took another elbow to the face. At this angle his own blows weren't as affective. He was losing his grip on the ladder and was sure it was only a matter of another good punch and he would find himself falling. Out the corner of his eye he realized another man in black was starting up the ladder to help finish him off. Somewhere he could hear the Techno siren and he knew someone had called for help. Not that it would do him any good now. He would be dead and his murderers long gone before the officers even made it to the wall. Then he noticed the angle of the man above him. His strong body was dangerously close to getting entangled in the shards of metal along the top of the wall.

Lex's eyes flickered recklessly as the idea hit him. It was suicide but at least it was a death of his own choosing. With the last of his strength Lex jumped up the last two rungs and slammed the man into the barbed wire. A gut wrenching scream filled the air as Lex used the bigger body below him to shield himself from getting sliced apart. He felt something rip his leg open and he yelled out as the momentum sent him over the wall and three stories down to his death.

As he fell his body turned and he looked up at the dark sky, his death cry piercing the night. Suddenly his body crashed through something which slowed his momentum. He hit the ground with bone crushing force and heard a gong ring out in his head as his brain rattled in the confines of his skull. At first his breath didn't come but then he gasped at the pain searing through his body. He could see nothing but stars and his head felt disconnected from his body.

Slowly his vision came back to him in the form of a narrow, foggy tunnel. He was barely able to make out the top of the wall from which he'd plummeted down. Half of the body of the man he'd used as his personal carpet hung over the top. His blood stained and ran down the wall from where the metal had near severed him at the waist. Above him stood another figure in black staring down at what he must have believed was Lex's broken corpse. Lex didn't care if the mob came after him to finish the job. He knew he'd be dead long before they could make it to him. A slight smirk played on his lips as the darkness swallowed him.


	8. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

A drop of icy water hit Lex's forehead. Then his cheek. He finally stirred when another hit his eyelid. He realized he was cold and wet. Slowly his eyes fluttered open and at first all he saw was darkness. It was raining, that much he knew and he was outside. As his vision became clearer he could see he was near the city wall. Images came back to him... running, fighting, falling... He looked up at the top of the wall. The body was gone but the blood remained, evidence of the earlier struggle. His hearing slowly came back and he heard the Techno siren blaring somewhere in the New City. Apparently he hadn't been out long though he felt like he'd slept for days.

Lex wasn't sure why he was alive and was slightly bothered by that fact. The fall should have killed him. At the very least he should be paralyzed. To Lex, that was a fate worse than death and he lie still for minutes on end. He didn't want to know for sure if he'd lost the ability to move. After several minutes the cold rain began to painfully cut through him and Lex couldn't stand it any longer. He started by moving his head and looking at his surroundings. He seemed to be in some sort of box. A dumpster. The realization and smell hit him at the same time and his stomach turned. He tried not to imagine what sort of things he might have landed on.

Without thinking Lex wiped at the water pooling on his face and was satisfied that his arms still worked. His body ached everywhere which in itself was a good sign and he attempted to sit up slowly. He was covered with wooden debris and realized it was a makeshift roof that broke his fall. Someone had placed planks across the top of the dumpster for a shelter. Lex was glad that someone wasn't home at the moment. Slowly he managed to stand, leaning against the side of the dumpster for support. His left calf was sliced open from the metal shards above but at least his leg still worked. He wished he had something to wrap around the wound which still bled, staining his sock, but he was only wearing a t-shirt and boxers to shield him from the bitter cold. Finally steady on his feet, Lex peeked out of the dumpster at the wasteland before him.

It had been nearly three months since he'd been on the dark side and half a decade since he'd been here on his own. Even when the city was somewhat decent, Lex wasn't fond of creeping around it at night. Never knew when some crazy was going to jump out and attack. Since the building of the New City, whatever might have been decent in the Badlands, had gone to rot. It was a living hell for lack of a better word. Even in that late hour of night screams echoed from various directions. There was no order and the tribes which ruled were worse than any he'd ever encountered in his time. Ruthless murderers and cannibals ran rampant only wanting to destroy anything in their path.

There was only one outpost of civilization left in sector eleven. A disgusting den of human life, if one could call it that. It was ran by a man known as Zeal and his lords of chaos. If one wasn't a killer, rapist or complete psycho, Zeal was the only hope for any sort of protection. Though his **protection** came at a price. Zeal and his men terrorized the dark side taking and controlling everything: Food, power, sex... It was Zeal who ordered Ram's assassination. After Mega banished the ex Techno leader, Ram tried to regroup his army on the dark side. He was betrayed and murdered by his own followers. But despite his cruelty and thirst for blood, even Zeal respected the Techno police and ordered his people to stay out of the way during their sweeps of the Badlands. There was a courteous rapport between Zeal and the guards and he even peddled slaves in exchange for batteries and food.

As Lex stared at the decrepit buildings and derelict roads before him, Zeal was the least of his worries. In fact, if he'd found himself closer to sector eleven he might even feel safe. At least he would stand a chance of getting back into the New City in one piece. No, Lex was in sector eight somewhere, at least two miles from the city gate. And that was if he followed the wall all the way back. It was the faster route but this deep in Badland territory, it was also the deadliest.

Something scurried off in the dark and Lex ducked down. He crouched in silence, rain pouring down, stinging his skin and chilling his bones. It wouldn't do him any good waiting for the Techno guard to come find him. It would take them some time just to piece the puzzle together and realize he was missing. If they hadn't guessed to look for him over the wall by now, it would be hours before it occurred to them. Not that he blamed them. Jumping over the wall had been a suicide mission. He hadn't counted on being alive and well with no way home. There was only one viable option and it still didn't guarantee he'd make it out of here alive. He would have to head for the train yard on the outskirts of the city. If he made it there, then he could walk along the outside of the old city to the safe road. It was a much longer walk, a few miles longer in fact but his chances of survival were better outside the city. The crazies kept to the wall in the core of the dark side where there were more places to hide.

Lex took a deep breath and slowly peeked out of the dumpster. There was silence except for the splattering of rain washing the dingy surface of a world forgotten. Looking ahead he recognized the alley and knew it was his best route to the train yard. He wasn't anxious to move but he painfully pulled himself out of the dumpster anyway. He picked up a splintered plank of wood and with caution, stepped into the darkness.

The first few blocks were quiet and vacant and Lex was comforted that at the very least the freezing rain was keeping the nut jobs inside. He limped along, the biting cold distracting him from the pain of his more serious injuries. When he reached sector fourteen he noticed that the sky, though overcast with gray clouds, was getting lighter. The sun would be up within an hour or so and this made Lex cringe. With the light would come the crazies and whatever else was living in the burnt out shells of buildings. In his injured state he was no match for anyone looking for a fight. Panting, Lex leaned back against a cold, brick wall. The building had been bombed years earlier during Mega's war and the wall was the only thing left standing. He wasn't far from the train yard now. Lex remembered running from the Locos down this very alley. How far away that time seemed when the Locos were the city's biggest problem. When Zoot ruled and the innocent were caught in the wave of chaos.

He was ripped from his thoughts by screams. Jumping up he started to run in the direction of the railway. It was his only hope to hide and escape whatever was coming up behind him. As the screams grew louder and closer, they became distinguishable. One was that of a young man who seemed to be crying out of fear. The others were a high pitched howling that chilled the blood. Lex knew those screams. They were the Algoths and he'd run into them before. Algoths were a cannibalistic coven which worshiped the dead and preyed upon living flesh. They were the only ones sick enough to attack a Techno convoy. Lex ran until his heart pumped battery acid through his veins. He finally spotted the trains and without pausing to be grateful he climbed inside the first one he came upon. The screams grew louder as they got closer. Lex crept through the car looking for a good hiding place. He finally found an old closet for storing food and drink trays. It was a tight fit but he squeezed inside anyway and tried to stifle his heavy breathing. He could feel the blood dripping down his leg, his rapid pulse causing him to bleed profusely. Lex sighed knowing there was nothing he could do but remain still and quiet.

They caught the boy and though Lex couldn't see it, every scream ripped through him. He cringed and closed his eyes as the boy cried for help. What was happening to him shouldn't happen to anyone. Lex knew enough about the Algoths to know they were eating the raw flesh from the kid while he was still alive. When the kid's screams finally died down, Lex knew he was being dragged away as was their feeding ritual. Poor boy. Probably just took advantage of the heavy rain in hopes of finding food. When all was silent, Lex finally broke down from exhaustion and wept for another man who would never grow old.

Sometime later he finally crawled out of his hiding place. He still had an hour before it was light but he was too tired to run anymore. He stumbled into the dining car and passed out on one of the seats. When he awoke again he was still cold but only slightly damp. He shivered and looked around. He wasn't sure but he guessed by the light that it was just after twelve noon. Had he slept that long? He was incredibly dizzy and frowned as he surveyed his blood encrusted wound. It seemed like it might be slightly infected and he looked away in disgust. His leg felt heavy and numb as he dragged himself up into a standing position. The rain had stopped and the city was alive with noise. None of that made him feel any safer. At least at night he could hide under the cover of darkness. After spying out the windows for any hint of life, Lex stepped out of the train car. The yard was surprisingly deserted which he was grateful for. Perhaps his trek along the outskirts would be uneventful. Willing his cold and shivering body to step forward, Lex started his journey.

It wasn't long before he realized the outskirts weren't as quiet and vacant as he'd hoped. He continually ran into strays. Not strong enough to survive within the core of the Badlands but too damaged to leave in search of a better life. Some stared at him with jaded interest, others offered him their wares (scraps of dirty material, worthless nicknack's, sex) in hopes of food, but most ignored him. It was the ones who eyed him with interest that worried Lex. While strays weren't necessarily known to be dangerous, he only needed one lunatic to attack. Though his will to live was obviously strong, Lex knew he couldn't defend himself now. He could barely walk. The outskirts no longer felt safe and Lex spotted the tree line further out. He started toward the woods thinking he could follow the tree line outside of the city until the safe road came into view. At this point he didn't care how long a walk it was. He just wanted to get home alive.

It was cooler in the woods, the leafless trees managing to block out the sun's warm rays. Lex's breath came out in shudders as he trudged along. He didn't realize it but he was lapsing in and out of consciousness while he walked. His mind flipped channels and a strange movie played itself before his eyes. Random images came to him in no particular order. The Mallrats, his apartment, Salene's hands, Mega's living room, Taisan's candles, his mother... It was a fight just to keep from slipping into delirium and Lex was unaware that he was stumbling further into the woods taking a southern detour. The hours slipped by unnoticed by the man wandering through the forest. It wasn't until the sun began to set that Lex came out of his trance and wondered where he was. He stopped and looked around. The city wasn't where it was supposed to be. In fact, it wasn't there at all.

Lex walked in the direction where the trees were meant to end and found he was much deeper then he wanted to be. Confused he wandered in circles trying to find a recognizable landmark. Pinpoint a direction in which to continue. By now he wasn't even sure what direction he'd come from. He had to stop and rested on a rock. This was bad. The only thing he knew for certain was that the sun was setting in the west. But that didn't help since he wasn't positive which direction the city was in. He couldn't think straight. His mind and body were so numbed by cold and pain that their sole priority was keeping him alive. The only thing he knew to do was to keep walking. Maybe he would find a farm house if he could get out of these woods.

Night fell and Lex was still hopelessly lost. At one point he began to laugh insanely at his own helplessness. The strange tone of his voice scaring a tiny part of himself. He was sure he was going to die out here. If the cold didn't get him, some animal would. When all seemed lost he spotted a twinkle of light through the trees. He stumbled toward it and in the distance he saw a cabin. Or something like it. It was too dark to tell. All he knew was there was light which meant there was life. Lex knew he had to get there and stepped forward.

He hadn't expected the drop off and it was a miracle he didn't break his neck falling. Aside from the cuts and abrasions from rocks and sharp twigs, he was no worse for the wear. When he finally rolled to a stop, Lex didn't bother to move. He didn't have it in him anymore. His body was exhausted and he finally succumbed to the freezing cold which had been trying to claim him all day. As he gazed up at the stars, his teeth chattered and he found himself mindlessly reciting some nursery rhyme his mother used to sing to him. The words were mumbled and Lex himself wasn't even sure what they were anymore. Somewhere in the distance a wild dog howled but Lex didn't care as he surrendered to the dark to escape from the cold.

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"What are you doing on my property?"

Lex opened his eyes and squinted into the bright sunlight as he tried to make out the silhouetted shapes standing above him. The voice sounded muffled and distorted in his head and he wasn't even sure of what sex the inquisitor was. There were two of them, one no bigger than a child. He attempted to lift his head and was painfully reminded of how much damage had been done to his body in the last seventeen or so hours. How was it that he'd lived through the night?

"I... got lost." He said hoarsely.

The tall one lowered whatever weapon it was he carried and stepped closer. As the shadow moved, long hair swept over the shoulder and Lex concluded it was a female. She said something softly to the young one and the child ran off. He watched her kneel beside him, the sun keeping her features in shadow. She touched his wounded leg and he winced. Without another word she reached into a small pouch attached to her waist. He couldn't see what it was she pulled out and popped into her mouth. After a couple seconds she spat the chewed pulp into her hand.

"This is gonna hurt but it'll stop the infection."

"Wha...?" Lex didn't finish his question as she pressed whatever it was into the gash in his calf. "Augh!"

Though her touch was gentle his leg throbbed with renewed agony. Until now the pain had become so overwhelming that the whole leg had gone numb. It was a wonder to him that he could feel anything at all.

"Sorry," She finally turned to him and brushed some of her dark tresses from her face. Lex gasped with recognition and wondered if his pain was making him hallucinate. He narrowed his eyes as memories came flooding back to him in no proper sequence.

"Trudy?" He finally ventured, his voice hardly above a startled whisper.

"Hiya Lex."

End part one


	9. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

It was a longer walk to the house than Lex had thought the night before and he was forced in his weakened condition to use Trudy as a crutch. If she found his weight overbearing, she didn't utter a word as she silently assisted him to her home. Trudy's only concern at the moment was getting Lex inside and getting him warm. Despite the fact that he'd survived the night, he was far from danger. Even the bright morning sun had failed to warm his icy skin.

They passed a delapitated barn and a pen of farm animals including a goat, a mule and a few chickens. A large wired cage housed several spotted jack rabbits. The house itself was a classic cape that looked like it might have been built in the early thirties. It also appeared as though it hadn't been updated since. Still, despite a few boarded windows and splintered siding, it was sound and Lex was grateful for it. Once inside Trudy didn't give him a moment to look around as she directed him up a flight of narrow stairs. Lex was barely able to glimpse Brady watching them with curiosity where she stood by the wood stove. Though he would recognize those bright eyes of hers anywhere, Lex was hard pressed to believe that the little girl he remembered had grown up.

Trudy brought him into a small dormer bedroom. It's slanted roof caused them both to duck as she deposited him on the rot iron bed. By now Lex was beginning to drift off again and hardly noticed as Trudy hastily removed his shredded t-shirt. She couldn't imagine what sort of trouble he'd gotten himself into and was surprised by the numerous cuts to his back. She was already estimating how many of Lex's wounds would need to be stitched in order to heal properly.

When Trudy noticed that Lex was fading out she started talking to him, encouraging him to stay awake. None of it made any sense to Lex and all he wanted to do was lie down and sleep. He was no longer wondering why Trudy was here, or thinking about the journey that led him to this place. He simply wanted sleep. He even began to mumble this request to which Trudy responded by shaking her head.

"No Lex, you can't sleep. You gotta stay awake. Gotta get you warm." She was rubbing his arms now trying to bring a little heat to his skin.

Lex wasn't sure how long this odd conversation lasted but suddenly Brady was in the doorway with a cast iron pot of steaming water. In seconds Lex found himself being helped into a large basin tub which he hadn't noticed was in the room. He was so tired that even the cold unfriendly metal felt good on his back. The room had gone silent and the light was hazy. Lex was no longer sure if he were even still awake. That is until he felt the hot water being poured directly onto him. He gasped at the rude awakening and he could now hear Trudy talking again.

"That's good Lex. Wake up. Stay with me."

The hot water made Lex aware now of how cold he was to his very core. Shivers rain through him like icicles trying to escape the rush of heat. Trudy gently washed the water up over his shoulders and smiled when she saw he was beginning to shiver again. Just as Lex was getting used to the water Brady returned with yet another pot and his senses were again wakened. The heat was making him itch and a painful throb could be felt through his limbs.

"It hurts," He muttered in an annoyed tone.

"Thawing out always does." Trudy replied and continued to rinse him down. She was trying to clean his wounds as gently as she could without furthering Lex's discomfort. He had many and she didn't want a small infection to turn into blood poisoning.

Lex's pain worsened and he was dismayed to see Brady enter with a third pot of hot water. By now his skin itched so bad he wanted to scratch it off. His leg ached with such intensity that if he'd had the energy Lex might have leaped out of the tub. He now noticed the gash in his calf was bleeding again. Not profusely, but just enough to stain the water a slight shade of pink. The steam rising made him even more inclined to sleep and he finally succumbed to the discomfort and lay his head back. This time Trudy didn't stop him from dozing as she continually swathed him with hot water. He was regaining his color, a flush of red now covered his skin. It felt like an eternity before the water cooled and Lex was aware that Trudy was helping him out of the tub and drying him down. She then allowed him to lay on the bed and Lex was out before she even covered him with the blankets.

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"Who is he?"

Trudy didn't look up from the medical book she was pouring over but she could feel her daughter's intense gaze.

"An old friend." She explained simply.

"From the city?"

Nodding Trudy turned a page. "That's where I last saw him."

Brady studied her mother's expression carefully. "Was he a Mallrat?"

"Yes," Trudy answered quietly for the subject often saddened her. "He was a Mallrat."

"Really?" Brady's eyes lit up. "Did he know uncle Bray?"

Trudy nodded again and having found what she was looking for got up from the table. She began rummaging through a shelf filled with small glass jars, their contents unrecognizable.

"What do you think he's doing here?"

"I don't know." Trudy opened a jar and sniffed with a frown.

Brady narrowed her eyes. She wondered why her mother wasn't more excited to have a visitor. Especially an old friend from the tribe that Brady had been so curious about. The tribe where her life started. As it was they rarely ever saw anyone. Their home was far from any main roads and travelers hardly ventured in their direction.

"Is he gonna be alright?"

Trudy turned to her daughter and shrugged. "I'm not sure. He's hurt bad but I'm going to do my best to make him better." Glancing down into a box of bandages she decided it was best to end this line of questioning. "Could you run downstairs and bring me some gossamer weed?"

Nodding Brady started toward the cellar pausing a moment to stare at her mother's bent head. There was more the little girl wanted to ask. But she was sure her questions would be avoided. That's the way it always was when Brady broached the subject of her father. It was a topic Trudy spoke little of and Brady was always left grasping for straws. Knowing it was pointless to ask again, she went downstairs.

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When Lex awoke, he was at first confused as to where he was. Slowly his memory, along with the pain of his injuries, came back to him. The room was bright with sunlight flooding through the single window. It bathed him in a ray of warmth and Lex silently relished the sensation before turning over. The empty tub sat off to the side of the bed and on both night tables sat candle sconces. The candles themselves looked as though they had melted down and been reformed numerous times and were each a medley of color. The house was quiet but he thought he heard cheerful conversation from outside. Feeling oddly comfortable and having no desire to get up, Lex closed his eyes and slipped away again.

When he next opened his eyes, the light in the room had shifted. He could hear someone coming up the stairs but that wasn't what woke him up. His pain had intensified greatly and Lex found it difficult even to lie still. His leg, now wrapped, ached immensely and as he turned over a sharp pain shot through his back. Lex now wondered what the heck Trudy had done to him. On cue his old friend entered the room with a tray in hand.

"You're awake." She gave him a small smile.

Lex replied with a painful moan as he focused on her slim shape.

"And the gossamer weed is wearing off I see." She stepped toward the bed and set the tray on the night table. "I hope your stitches aren't pulling too much."

"Stitches?"

Trudy nodded. "I had to stitch you up in a few places. You were already passed out which is the best anesthetic I can think of. I did use some crushed gossamer to numb your wounds but it's only a temporary fix. I'm afraid yours is going to be a painful recovery."

Lex moaned again and started to pull himself up. For a moment Trudy thought to offer her help as he struggled but thought it best to leave him his dignity. As she recalled, Lex didn't like having his manhood questioned. Even when ill as a teenager, he had an heir of unmatched masculinity. She instead turned her attention to the tray she'd brought.

"Are you hungry?" She asked gently setting in on his lap. "I've made soup."

"Thanks." Lex nodded and eagerly took a few spoonfuls before glancing back up. "It's good."

Trudy smiled. "It's nothing special. Just something soothing for your stomach." She stood and peered out the window. "I wasn't sure when you'd last eaten. Now that you're up I'm curious..." She gave her friend a look. "How long were you out there?"

Lex frowned as he swallowed. "About... well a little more than a day I guess. What day is it anyway?"

"Thursday."  
"Thursday!" Lex stared back in surprise. "How long was I out?"

"About thirty-two hours."

Her precise answer surprised him even more as he sat back in thought. He'd gone over the wall early Tuesday morning. It didn't seem like two and a half days had passed.

"You're lucky to be alive. Temperature's dropped early this year. I lost a whole crop of cabbages due to early frost." Trudy frowned and looked back out the window seemingly lost in her own thoughts. "It gets colder every year. I bet we get our first snow in a couple weeks."

Lex nodded in agreement though she wasn't looking at him as he continued to eat. They sat in silence until the bowl was empty and Lex found himself wishing there was more. For a simple soup it was delicious. His full stomach distracted him from his pain now so that Lex was again wondering why Trudy and Brady were here. He gave her another look before clearing his throat. But Trudy beat him to the punch as she turned from the window.

"So what are you doing out here anyway Lex?" She eyed him carefully. "What happened to you?"

Her question made him uncomfortable for it forced Lex to remember the awful event which led him to this place. As it was he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that someone tried to kill him. The same people who had killed Jay, left Amber injured and kidnapped her son. And possibly the same people who had murdered May as well. Who were they and what did they want? Lex looked into Trudy's questioning eyes and thought it best not to startle her with the whole truth. She might think she and Brady were in some sort of danger if she knew everything.

"I got into a fight... outside the city border." Lex looked away. He wasn't ready to think about the specifics. Not yet.

Trudy caught the hint and quietly took the tray from his lap, setting it on her own as she sat on the bed. "Hate to see what the other guy looks like."

Lex smirked at her playful sarcasm as she smiled back. Trudy hadn't changed much physically. Same pretty, deep eyes and pouty lips set in a soft velvet face. As always there was a mixture of kindness and melancholy in her expression. Her hair draped down her back and no longer bore any trace of it's signature violet. The trademark slant of her bangs had grown out and now her hair parted at the middle as it fell past her shoulders. Lex also noticed that there was a sense of maturity which resonated from Trudy's presence. A centered calm that came from years of hardship. He knew right away that this was not the frightened girl who'd left the city five years before. Her clothes were simpler; a dark fitted sweater and trousers with a slight boot cut. What surprised him was the Mallrat pentagram painted on her hand, as though no time at all had passed. Just the sight of it's familiar shape made him feel warm inside.

"So what about you?" He finally queried. "We all thought you were taking Brady to live with the Gaians. How did you end up here?"

Trudy sighed. "Well that's what I was trying to do. Get to the Eco tribe. I thought we'd both be safer there. But they'd moved to their winter camp and I got lost. Then Brady got sick and I had no idea what to do. We spent a night in the woods and she got worse. Then Kye found us."

"Kye?"

She nodded. "This was his house. His grandmother's actually. He found us not too far from where I found you. Up past the ridge. He brought us here and helped nurse Brady back to health. She had the croup."

Lex frowned. "I've never heard of that."

"Neither had I." Trudy gave a small shrug. "It's an awful sickness that small children used to get all the time... before immunizations. But Brady's never been pricked so it's no wonder she finally came down with something like that. Kye looked up her symptoms and luckily had what she needed. Thank goodness for his grandmother's medical books. Anyway, we stayed with him while she recovered and it turned out he knew the Gaians. Their winter camp is about two hours West from here. He traded with them sometimes. The plan was for him to bring us there but by the time Brady was well, we were really comfortable here and Kye invited us to stay so..."

Lex nodded as Trudy wrapped up the story. Though she looked at him her eyes were lost in the memory. Kye's story was one of loss and Trudy and Brady's presence was a welcoming ray of light in his lonely life. Before the virus he and his older sister Laura spent countless summers at the farm with their grandmother. Their parents were preoccupied and spent as much time away from the children as possible. During the Chosen occupation, the siblings made the decision to leave the city with Laura's boyfriend and move to the farm. Unfortunately, Laura's boyfriend, and father of her unborn child, died during a Chosen skirmish. Afterward Kye convinced his sister to come to the farm to have the baby. The last few months of her pregnancy were marred with illness and Laura's daughter Kaylen died only hours after being born. From there Laura's health spiraled downward. Kye watched helplessly knowing she was dying for she no longer had any will to live. Her last words were, "remember to smile." before she closed her eyes and stepped willingly into the darkness which claimed her. There was no fear and no regret. When the last breath left her body there was the faintest of smiles on Laura's lips. And Kye was comforted by the fact that his sister was now with the boy she loved and the baby they'd lost. He contemplated going back to the city but chose to stay on the farm and spent the next year in solitude before finding Trudy and Brady.

"So what happened to Kye?" Lex finally interupted Trudy's thoughts after several minutes of silence.

"Oh," She looked down sadly. "Um... about a year and a half after we decided to stay, Kye took his horse and rode out to a farm in the South to trade. He never came home. The next day a few of the Gaians came this way with him draped over his horse. They'd seen the horse grazing and recognized it so they went looking for him. Looked like he'd been thrown by mistake and broke his neck." Trudy closed her eyes, the image still clear in her mind. "They guessed the horse was startled by a snake or something. Hawk of course persisted we go stay with them but I decided we would keep up the farm."

"Oh." The room fell silent again and Lex watched the painful memory pass over Trudy's face. "I'm sorry."

She smiled slightly. "Who knew that I'd end up repaying the favor to you."

Lex met her smile with his own. "Yeah. I owe you one."


	10. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

At Trudy's insistance Lex spent the next few days on bedrest. At first he welcomed the opportunity to sleep and escape his thoughts. But by the third night he was sore and restless. It had been years since he'd spent so much time in bed. His muscles ached, his stitches pulled and he suffered from general irritation and boredom. The worst was he couldn't stop replaying the night of his attempted murder. The fear and adrenaline could still be felt in his veins. The sensation of falling... and dying. It wasn't in Lex's nature to let things go and it was driving him crazy knowing those people were still out there. Who knew what damage they would continue to cause. Lex knew he had to get back to the city as soon as he was able to make the journey. Though he guessed from Trudy's relentless nursing that she wouldn't give him the green light for another week.

He wasn't the only unsettled person in the house. Brady was dying of curiosity and couldn't wait for Lex to come out of "quarentine". As it was she wasn't allowed to go and see him and had to satisfy herself by sneaking peeks around his opened door when no one was paying attention. Trudy replied to her daughter's merriad of questions with short and somewhat vague answers. While she understood Brady's excitement over having a visitor, she didn't want Lex's presence to disrupt their reality. He would be leaving shortly so it was best to treat his stay as casually as possible.

On the fourth morning Lex awoke with the sun, determined to convince his keeper that he was well enough to get around. So he got out of bed early and forced himself to limp about the room on his bad leg. Lex found it ironic that when he was lost, at the very least the cold kept him from realizing how much his leg hurt. Now he could feel every twinge and despite his wanting to get around on his own, each step was an agony. But it was better than lying down and Lex continued to pace the small room allowing his body to build up a tolerance to the pain.

Soon he heard the others bustling about the house and the smell of scrambled eggs and ham came wafting into the room. The delicious scent was enough to cause Lex to charge downstairs. If only he were wearing more than just a pair of borrowed boxers. Escaping from potenial killers in one's underclothes was one thing. Confronting his hostess and her child in such attire was another. Luckily, Trudy didn't keep him waiting long and soon came in with his breakfast. She looked pleased to see him on his feet.

"Mornin'." She smiled.

"Hey," Lex suddenly felt self conscious for some unexplained reason and awkwardly sat on the bed.

"I guess you're sick of lying around." Trudy smirked and set the tray down. "Never thought I'd see that."

Lex chuckled at her teasing referral to his old behavior at the mall. If only she knew how little he even slept these days. For a moment he pined for those times when he could roll under his covers without any care for the outside world. Despite the chaos they lived in, some things just seemed simpler back then.

"I figured you'd be ready to get moving so I made a big meal to get your strength up."

"Thanks." Lex nodded at the plate of appetizing food. "I'm definitely ready to get moving."

"Eager to get home I'm sure." Trudy smiled.

Nodding again, Lex took a bite of his eggs. "Yes. There are things I have to take care of."

"Well, I don't know how strong you're feeling but it's a good day's walk to the city. I can give you some of Kye's old stuff to wear." She glanced at him from head to toe briefly. "He was only a little taller than you."

"Thanks."

There were a few minutes of quiet while Trudy watched her friend eat. She found it odd that his leaving was actually upsetting her somewhat. From the moment she'd found Lex in the field she knew he wouldn't be sticking around. And in some ways she preferred that he left quickly. But now she realized that just seeing him gave her warm feelings and a pining for a home long lost. The old Trudy inside of her was eager to sit with the former Mallrat and laugh about times past. Quickly she shook the vague desire from her head and stood.

"I'll get those clothes and let you eat."

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"But you can't be leaving already!" Brady stared at the man she'd just formally met in disappointment. "You just got here. You're not even better!"

"Brady," Trudy chastised gently. "Lex has a home to get back to. His family's waiting."

Lex gave Trudy a brief look, surprised that she assumed he'd finally settled down. Brady pouted in response and crossed her arms.

"But I want him to tell me about the Mallrats. **You** never tell me anything."

"I tell you enough."

"But I wanna know more."

Despite himself Lex found Brady to possibly be the most amusing little creature he'd encountered in a long time. He still couldn't believe that the preschooler he'd last seen had grown into such a tall, lithe young lady. Though only eight years of age she was already quite beautiful with a face as striking as her mother's. Her hair fell down her back in a mass of wind blown, wheat colored curls. There was a maturity in her light eyes that was far too old for a child so young. She wore a ratty pair of denim overalls which had been patched with endless swatches of material in all colors and patterns. Around her thin neck was a tarnished silver chain and like Trudy, the Mallrat pentagram was painted on her right hand.

"I wanna know about the other Mallrats you don't like to talk about." Brady continued. "I wanna know what they're all doing now. I wanna know about the city..."

"Brady," Trudy's tone was gentle but stern. "He has to leave."

Giving her mother an annoyed look, Brady fell into a chair with a defeated sigh. "Fine."

Satisfied the brief tiff was over Trudy turned to Lex. "I'm packing you a lunch."

She turned away before Lex could nod and neither of them noticed the wistful way Brady was staring at the dark haired man. He was the most handsome male she'd seen and already the young girl was smitten. She liked everything about him: from the way his choppy black tresses sat on his head to the exotic look of his eyes. She even liked the way he looked in Kye's old dungarees and boots. She had been so excited about sitting down and learning more about him. He was the only one who might answer her many questions. Questions the Gaians couldn't answer and questions her mother **wouldn't** answer. It wasn't fair that he was leaving so soon.

It only took Trudy minutes to stuff a small sack full of edibles good for traveling but it was during that time Lex had a strange revelation. He didn't **want** to leave. At least not right away. What exactly was he rushing back to? He had no more answers for Mega now than he did before his "adventure". And in his injured state, he would be forced to stay on leave until he was well enough to walk his beat. Even if he went back now and the killers returned for someone else, there was little he could do to stop it.

Lex glanced at Brady's dejected form and then at Trudy who was now clearing breakfast dishes. He wondered if his mind was making up excuses to stay. The truth was, this was the first time in many years he'd felt truly comfortable. Though he'd never been there before and Trudy and he was nearly strangers after their long separation, there was a familiarity in that house. During his short stay he'd felt a sensation other than regret and melancholy. A warmth that could be felt under his skin. It wasn't something he wanted to walk away from just yet.

"What's wrong?"

Trudy's voice shook him from his thoughts and Lex realized she'd noticed his solemn expression. He looked back at her puzzled face, not exactly sure how to say what he was thinking.

"Uh..." He paused and then gently set down his lunch sack. "Ya know I was thinking. It's been a long time since we've seen each other. And well... who knows when we'll see each other again. Not to mention you saved my life and I don't feel right just leaving this way." He glanced into her eyes nervously. He wasn't certain why he was finding this so difficult to say. "I guess what I mean is that I don't have to go right this minute..." Lex paused awkwardly searching for the right words to continue.

Trudy stared back in surprise. "You don't? Are you saying that you'd wanna stay awhile?" She asked tentatively.

"Well yeah," Lex nodded, grateful that she'd been the one to say it. "If you don't mind putting up with me a few days."

The smile sprang onto her face before Trudy could stop it. "Of course not. You're welcome to stay. I'll admit I was a little disappointed that we wouldn't get a chance to catch up."

"So you're staying?" Brady, who had been watching the conversation like a tennis spectator perked up. "You're gonna stay longer?"

Lex shared a quick smile with Trudy before nodding. "Yeah."

"Perfect!" Brady squealed and jumped from her chair and grabbed Lex's hand. "I can't wait to show my goat. Her name's Thumper and she's white with this one big, brown spot on her chest. She's the cutest thing."

"Okay," Lex glanced at Trudy as Brady began tugging him toward the door.

"I'll show you how to milk her."

Trudy stifled her laugh as she watched Lex dragged from the house, Brady's animated chatter leading the way. Guess the two old friends would have to catch up later. She took a moment to watch Lex limp after Brady toward the pen through the window. Her daughter was talking so fast it was a wonder if Lex could understand a word. Trudy shook her head in amusement at the two of them before turning back to her dishes. As she washed she hummed and wasn't aware of the large smile playing on her lips.


	11. Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

The rest of Lex's day was spent watching Brady and Trudy go about their usual litany of chores. As promised Brady taught him how to milk her goat as well as feed the stock. All the while she bombarded him with questions about the infamous mall and anything else pertaining to the city.

"What did it look like... tell me about the fountain, was it pretty... was I really born in a furniture shop... were you there when I was born... what was my uncle Bray like... where are the other Mallrats now... do you know my cousin Bray junior... do you still live at the mall... did my mom really have purple hair... what's the city like... are there a lot of fights... do the tribes still wear funny clothes... is Mega really a bad man... were you really as mean as Mouse says... was the war really bad... how did uncle Bray die... are you still a sheriff..."

The list simply went on and on and Lex answered with a patience he wasn't aware he had. He wondered why Brady was so fascinated with a world and a time that no longer existed. Then decided that for someone like Brady, a connection with her past was most important for understanding the path of her future.

As Brady led him around Lex noticed Trudy in the background doing her own endless list of chores. It seemed as though every time he turned around she was doing something else: Bailing hay in the barn, rooting through the winter garden, hammering makeshift shingles on the roof, replacing the broken slates of the fence... It amazed him how handy and capable she'd become through the years. She'd once been a slightly fragile creature, a victim of her own overwhelming emotional outbursts. Now he could see that she would give even Alice a run for her money.

Lex felt quite useless himself seeing that he couldn't do much with a bum leg. Trudy finally put him to work scrubbing vegetables. Though happy to help, Lex couldn't fight feeling slight humiliation with his female hosts doing all the heavy labor while he was stuck in the kitchen.

"I still haven't learned to cook." He explained apologetically.

"Woman's work eh Lex?" Trudy teased with good nature.

"Heh," Lex smirked.

"Don't worry." She patted his back. "I'll do the cooking. You just get them cleaned."

"You're loving this aren't you?"

"What?"

Lex eyeballed her. "Watching me be domestic."

Trudy gazed back innocently. "Why Lex, what gave you that idea?" With another teasing smile she turned, heading back outside.

"Enjoy it while you can." He called after her retreating figure. "When I'm feeling up to it, **I'll** be working on the fence while you scrub carrots."

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"How long is he going to stay?"

Trudy shrugged as she pulled the blanket up to Brady's chin. "I don't know. Until he's feeling up to leaving I guess."

"I like him."

"I can tell."

"Do you think he likes me?"

Trudy kissed her daughter's nose. "Who wouldn't?"

Brady blushed slightly. "I think he's handsome."

"What about Dodger?" Trudy pretended to be shocked as she referred to one of the Gaians. "I thought he was your boyfriend."

"He's married to Perimedes Momma." Brady looked embarrassed. "He just pretends to be my boyfriend."

"I know, I'm just teasing." Trudy smoothed the little girl's wild curls marveling at how much she looked like her father. "Lex is very handsome."

"Why isn't he married?"

The question caught her off guard and Trudy shifted uncomfortably. "Did you ask Lex that?"

Brady nodded. "He said he wasn't any good at it. What's that supposed to mean?"

"Um," Trudy cleared her throat not sure how to answer without invading too much of Lex's personal history. "Well hun Lex **was** married... before. A long time ago and it... it didn't work out. I guess that's what he means."

"Oh," Brady nodded as she snuggled into the softness of the bed. "Do you think he'll ever get married again?"

Shrugging once more Trudy watched her child's eyes blink as sleep began to set in. "I don't know."

"Maybe if he finds the right person." Brady yawned.

Without waiting for a response she fell into sleep, the day's activities having exhausted her. Trudy sat on the bed caressing her daughter's hair and watching her breathe. She thought on Zandra, Taisan and Siva and how Lex reacted to losing them all so drastically. Then she thought of her own response over losing Martin, Bray, Jay and even Kye. What good was finding the right person if only to lose them? Perhaps it wasn't about losing them. Maybe it was about having them if only for one blissful moment. To remind them that love did exist amongst the insanity of their world. After several minutes she stood and stared down at her sleeping child.

"Maybe." She whispered before going downstairs.

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"Okay what you got?"

Lex eyed Brady with suspicious eyes. Was she bluffing? He'd spent less than an hour teaching her the basics of poker and already she was picking up on the subtle nuances, making her a dangerous and admirable player. With a confident smirk he lay his cards down.

"Straight. In diamonds."

"All I got is a lousy two pair." Trudy pretended to pout.

Brady giggled and revealed her winning hand. "Royal flush."

"Damn." Lex threw his hands up in the air dramatically while Brady collected her winnings (two jars of raspberry preserves) doing a gleeful little dance.

"I win, I win." She sang happily.

"She's a natural." Trudy shook her head as she examined her daughter's cards.

"Wanna play again?" Brady asked hopefully.

"I don't think my ego can take any more bruising." Lex chuckled, half serious. "I could have used someone like you back in the day. You put KC to shame."

Seeing Brady's obvious confusion over his reference to the past Trudy smiled at her daughter. "Lex was quite the scam artist in his youth and KC was his partner in crime."

"I prefer the term 'opportunist'." Lex arched an eyebrow at her quip about his age.

"Did you cheat people?" Brady asked with excited eyes.

Glancing at Trudy's smirk Lex nodded. "Sometimes."

"We all do crazy things when we're young because we think we'll live forever."

"Yes... crazy things." Lex agreed giving Trudy a mischievous grin. "Like feeding someone a rat."

"Ew!" Brady exclaimed as her mother's mouth dropped. "You did that?"

Lex laughed at their responses. "**I** didn't."

"Don't you dare!" Trudy said not sure whether to laugh or cry at the memory.

Brady looked at the two adults staring each other down with glints of devilment in their eyes. Though she was young she understood Lex's hint and looked at her mother in excited surprise. "Momma?"

Realizing it was useless to resist Trudy broke down in shameful laughter, an embarrassed flush on her face. "Alright, alright. Yes I did it."

"**You** fed someone a **rat**?"

"Well I didn't feed it to him." Trudy tried to defend. "I just cooked it..."

"And then let me eat it." Lex explained the rest with no malice in his playful tone.

"Ew!" Brady squealed again. "You ate a rat!"

"I didn't **know** it was a rat." He protested enjoying the little girl's enjoyment at hearing something so scandalous.

"That's so gross." Brady laughed. "I can't believe you did that Momma."

"Neither can I." Trudy shook her head. "It was a mean trick and Lex got very sick because of it."

"Well I deserved it." Lex looked at both Trudy and Brady with sincerity. "I wasn't very nice to your mother in my... **youth**."

"I wasn't exactly miss Polly sunshine to you either."

With curious eyes, Brady watched her mother and Lex gaze intently at one another. Seemingly engaged in a silent conversation where perhaps they were forgiving each other for their past misgivings. She liked the friendly smiles they shared and trusting her better judgment chose to leave the table with her preserves in hand. They didn't seem to notice her absence as she settled on the couch. Looking back she saw they were still staring at one another in silence. Smirking to herself she muttered in disbelief.

"A rat."

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Later the night after Brady had been sent off to bed, still joyous over her many wins at poker, Lex and Trudy sat warming themselves by the fire. Lex admired Trudy's skill as she poked and prodded the flaming logs with a stick. She was so different now though she still retained that girlish sweetness that always made her stand apart from the others.

"I'll have to cut a few more cords of wood." Trudy muttered as she sat and pulled a blanket over her shoulders. "I underestimated how cold it might get this year."

Lex nodded though he knew nothing of which she spoke. He'd never been near a fireplace in his life. "It is colder here than it was in the city."

"Well you've got that wall to protect you from the winds." She guessed. "Though I'd think being on the water might make up for it."

"I guess." Lex gave Trudy a look, wondering why they were talking about weather. She glanced back as though thinking the same thing.

"So," She started slowly. "Tell me about life in the big city. We haven't had a chance to catch up."

"Not with Brady's inquisition." Lex joked.

"I'm sorry." Trudy chuckled. "She's so curious. She reminds me of Bray. Always looking for answers to everything."

"I don't mind." Lex spoke as though it were just occurring to him. "It's kinda nice telling the stories to someone who can't remember. Guess that's our job."

"Yeah." Trudy agreed a wistful look in her eyes. "Anyway, tell me about everyone. How's Amber and Salene? Are they happy?"

He could tell from the tone of her voice she was longing to change the subject. Something about Brady's questions bothered her though he wasn't sure why and he thought it best not to ask. Some things were better left unanswered.

"Um, Amber and Salene." Lex cleared his throat wondering where to begin. "Salene is doing alright. She's settled down with a kid. Jeremiah. Cute little boy." Lex's light eyes danced at the image of Miah. "He's two and into everything. But you know Salene is enjoying every minute of it."

"I can imagine." Trudy smiled. "She was always the perfect little mother. What's her husband like?"

"Husband?"

"You said she was settled."

"Heh," He chuckled realizing his mistake. "Yeah but I never mentioned a **man. **She lives with Jenny. A woman she works with at the children's home." Lex found the look on Trudy's face amusing and held back a laugh.

"Oh." The dark haired woman tried to hide her shock and obvious surprise. "Well that's good. Um, how about Amber? She and Jay still happy?"

If she noticed Lex shifting uncomfortably, Trudy didn't say anything. He narrowed his thoughtful eyes at the fire, the image of Jay's corpse and Amber's injured body burned into his mind. He wasn't certain what to tell Trudy though the truth seemed completely out of the question. It would raise far too many questions. None of which he was ready to deal with right now.

"Amber and Jay are... fine." He lied his voice unwavering. "Bray's getting big and they have another, Soleil. She's three and Amber's pregnant with their third."

He watched Trudy's face light up. "That's great." She said sincerely. Obviously any animosity she had for Amber for stealing Jay was lost long ago. "I wish I could see her. I must admit leaving Amber was one of the hardest things I've ever done." She glanced at Lex's questioning expression. "She was like a sister, ya know. After everything we'd been through."

"Yeah," Lex nodded, glad he had withheld the truth. He felt it might have crushed Trudy. He went on to tell her about Jay's being a judge while Amber had settled into the unlikely role of housewife. Though she still had a strong presence on the city council. He also told Trudy about Jack and Ellie''s unfortunate parting (not to mention Ellie's books and Jack's ever expanding scientific accomplishments) along with their new marriages. Jack's being the most recent.

"That's too bad, in a way." Trudy sighed. "I was always rooting for those two. Did you go to the wedding?"

Lex shook his head, again uneasy with the subject. "Had to work."

"Right." She nodded. "So explain to me, what exactly is it you do in the New City? Are you a cop?"

He nodded. "In so many words, yes."

"Kinda ironic you're being a policeman." Trudy chuckled. "Hard to picture you chasing down criminals doing stuff you used to do."

"Yeah." Lex nodded again this time with a wry smile. "I hated cops when I was a kid. Just a cruel reminder of how old I am."

Their conversation continued as Trudy asked about other Mallrats. Lex told her about Cloe, who'd recently graduated from trade school the year before after studying medicine. She now worked at the hospital and hardly resembled the annoying teenager she'd once been. Then of course KC who was now working in the financial department and living with his ex Techno girlfriend. Lex didn't bother to explain how different his former protege was after rehabilitation. It wasn't something that could be described. There was Gel and her dumb luck marriage, Mega and Chiava, Darryl and his work in the theater group which made lame and not so lame plays which were aired on city net. It was the closest thing they had to TV. There was little to be said about Lottie and Ruby since they, like Trudy, had declined Mega's invitation and chose to go back to Liberty. Lex hadn't seen nor heard from either of them in five years. When asked about May, Lex swallowed his nausea and made up a story about her doing well and working in a restaurant.

"Okay, and I can't believe I'm even asking since she's the last person on the planet I care about but how's Ebony?" Trudy narrowed her pretty eyes. "Still gunning to take over the world?"

He chuckled. "No she uh, she runs one of the most successful clubs in town. Mind you it's a strip club of course." This made Trudy laugh. "She's all business these days."

"Guess nothings changed. How's Slade? He still putting up with her?"

She watched him shake his head slowly. "No. They parted ways a long time ago."

Then Lex went on to explain how Slade had never taken to life in the New City. He felt stifled and longed for the freedom of the open road. A life that had suited him fine before his fateful run in with Ram. After some months he finally begged Ebony to leave with him. To see what lay beyond the mountains of their world. She adamantly refused having sunk comfortably into her new life. After several weeks of fighting Slade packed his bags and left the New City. Stubborn to the core Ebony let him go believing she was better off. It took her less than a month to realize her mistake and she went to Liberty in search of him. Convinced she'd get him back with a simply apology. But she found that Slade had already left, a mass of rumors in his wake. Heartbroken and furious with herself, she returned to the New City and like Lex, threw herself into work. It was a year before Slade returned and then it was only to see his brother. He stayed less than a week before leaving without even seeing Ebony. Afterward, his annual visits with Mega were always sure to put her in a bitter mood for weeks. Though he didn't say it, Lex felt Ebony's pain. As one who spent many hours in self torture over his own mistakes, Lex understood regret better than anyone. Trudy was less understanding.

"Serves her right." She spoke with little sympathy. "Leave it to her to chase off the one guy who could stand her." Lex was silent as he watched Trudy's expression. She still had that cute little flair of the nostrils when she was disgruntled. "Okay, now you. You've managed to avoid talking about yourself I've noticed." She turned her gaze on Lex who looked back in mock innocence. "Now I know you're not married but what about your girlfriend? You seeing anyone special?"

In spite of himself, Lex smirked and again returned his eyes to the fire. "I don't date anymore." Silently he braced himself for a snide or sarcastic comment but it never came.

"Why?" She asked sincerely.

Lex paused in his answer thinking how the deaths of Zandra, Taisan and Siva had affected him. The irony of all three situations was sickening. As long as he ignored and mistreated her, Zandra was there loyal at his side. It wasn't until he'd committed himself to her, really started to love her, that she was taken away in a blink of an eye. It was the same with Siva. When he treated her like a toy, a mere distraction to keep his mind off the missing Taisan, things were fine. They were safe together. It wasn't until he accepted the loss of his wife and was ready to move on properly that he lost Siva to a firebomb during the war. And Taisan, his beautiful Taisan. He loved her maybe from the first moment and for that their relationship was forever doomed to fail. Was it any wonder he kept his distance with people and pushed any notion of love to the side?

"Lex?" Trudy's quiet voice interupted his thoughts and he realized she was still waiting for him to speak.

"I guess I just can't see the point." Lex shifted uncomfortably. "I mean, after Siva died I just felt empty. The same emptiness I felt when I buried Zandra on Eagle mountain. Or the way I felt when I learned Taisan was never coming back. I realized I didn't wanna feel it anymore."

"So you just quit dating altogether?"

"Well," Lex shrugged. "I tried... for awhile. First couple of years I would be involved with this girl or that but I'd always end it before it got too intimate." He caught Trudy's eyes. "I just couldn't risk it again, ya know? So as soon as I would start to care about a girl I'd break it off. Then it all just became more of a pain than it was worth so I said screw it. Who needs love?" Lex chuckled. "What's love ever done but break my heart?" Trudy nodded in understanding. He looked at her and tried to guess the reason for the solemn expression in her eyes. "So... was Kye anyone special?"

With a fond smile, Trudy nodded slightly. "Yeah he was. But not in the way you think." She paused at Lex's knowing smirk. "He didn't like girls."

"Oh." Lex fought the desire to say anything more and merely nodded.

Trudy laughed at his obvious effort to keep silent. "He was my best friend. I think maybe in a different universe, he might have been the love of my life."

Lex felt himself inexplicably drawn to the sincerity of Trudy's words. He studied the faint smile on her lips as happier memories played before her eyes. He wondered why Trudy who, unlike himself, obviously still had so much love to share, would stay hidden away in this little farm house. Why hadn't she, after Kye's sudden and unfortunate death, taken Brady to the Gaians as Hawk requested? Why was she wasting all she had to offer by living a half life somewhere between the mists and shadows of their world? He was about to ask something to this effect when Trudy suddenly stretched and stood up.

"I'm tired." She gave Lex a small smile and he wondered if she hadn't guessed at his new line of questioning, and like with Brady was purposely avoiding it. "I've got an early day tomorrow. I wanna finish that fence before a wolf tries to make off with some of the livestock."

"Right." He nodded and pushed the questions to the back of his mind. "Do you want me to put that out?" Lex gestured to the fire remembering Trudy's comment about cutting more wood. He didn't want to waste their resources and create more work for her.

"No." She shook her head with a smile, the dark tresses slipping over her shoulders. "Let it burn. It makes for a nice change. Good night."

Lex gave her a nod and watched as she disappeared up the stairs. He understood that his presence made her feel more secure and that in turn warmed his insides for some reason. Staring back at the fire he pulled Trudy's discarded blanket over his chilled arms. It still held the warmth from her body and he caught just the smallest wiff of her scent. Smiling at the dancing flames Lex pulled it tighter around himself.

"Goodnight." He whispered into the silence.


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

The morning that met him was bleak and Lex felt no desire to leave his comfortable bed. As he stared bleary eyed through the window at the overcast sky, he realized he wasn't in bed but had fallen asleep on the couch. He glanced at the fire which should have fizzled out to see it roaring cheerfully. A quiet clang of dishware made him sit up and he saw Trudy tiptoeing about in the kitchen. She met his eyes with a small smile.

"Did I wake you?" She asked softly as though someone were still sleeping in the room.

"No." Lex shook his head, rubbing the remaining sleep from his eyes. "Didn't mean to fall asleep down here. How long have you been up?"

"An hour or so. You looked cold so I started another fire."

Lex wondered why he hadn't heard Trudy. It had been years since he'd slept so deeply without the help of a sleep aid or alcohol. As he stretched and stood he tried to remember the last time he felt so comfortable sleeping anywhere. Sleep hadn't been a friend of Lex's in a long while. Yet here in the farmhouse it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"Hungry?" Trudy interupted his thoughts and he looked up with a grin.

"Yeah. Smells good." He commented graciously and approached the table.

"Just some homefries and eggs." Trudy smiled as she scooped the last of their breakfast onto his plate. Lex glanced at her out the side of his eye and marveled at the odd domesticity of the moment. There seemed something so mundane and normal about Trudy fixing him breakfast. As though they'd spent years doing this every morning, an old married couple who had perfected the dance over time. As she need do is offer him a mug of coffee and the daily newspaper to complete the ubsurd fantasy.

He waited until she sat across from him before shoveling a forkful of eggs into his eager mouth. Trudy watched him enjoying his food and wondered at the playful smirk on his face.

"What?" She finally asked. "What's so amusing?"

"I dunno." Lex shook his head in awe. "Just this. Someone cooking for me. I pretty much order all my food out." They both chuckled. "Well, except when I have dinner with Salene. That girl still makes a killer vegetable pie."

Trudy laughed. "Why don't you just learn to cook for yourself?"

He shrugged with a boyish grin. "I dunno, it's not the same I guess. Sometimes I'll be sitting there eating a pizza and I'll think, man I'd really like someone to make me a plate of baked beans right now... with ketchup." Lex grinned widely as Trudy laughed at the mention of their earliest cuisine in the mall. "Honestly. There's something about someone cooking for you... Damn, I'd even settle for a plate of Zandra's burnt spaghetti."

Trudy was really laughing now and it made Lex feel good. "It's odd, the things you miss." She finally said while shaking her head in amusement.

"Yeah," He nodded in agreement. For a moment their eyes caught and Lex suddenly found it difficult to swallow. There was something in Trudy's expression that seemed to be speaking to him, calling his name as though wanting him to rise from his seat, lean across the table and...

"Momma Momma!" Brady's excited shrieks as she burst through the front door shook Lex from his thoughts and he and Trudy broke contact. "Birch had her kittens! Four of them and they're so cute!"

The little girl brought with her a gust of chilled, damp air and Lex got up quickly to shut the door behind her. Turning back he finally noticed the smallest hint of spotted, slicked fur sticking out of Brady's collar and heard the faint mew of the animal she held.

"Isn't he adorable?" Brady gazed at both Lex and Trudy with awe in her eyes. "I was out there feeding Thumper when I heard them. Birch had them under the chicken coop."

"That's a good place to keep them warm." Trudy commented as she stroked the kitten's head softly.

"They're all so cute but none of them have opened their eyes yet." Brady pulled the tiny creature from the warmth of her frayed coat to show him off to Lex. "The others are all dark. He's the only one who looks like Birch. Don't ya just love his spots?" Lex couldn't help but nod and return Brady's happy smile. He found her amazement at all he took for granted in life to be refreshing. As though he were seeing the wonders of the world around them through her young, untainted eyes. "Can I keep this one Momma?"

Trudy watched her daughter nuzzle the kitten with her nose. She'd already planned on trading Birch's offspring with local farmers. They had no need for another cat but she couldn't resist the joy on Brady's face. Maybe the little mongrel would be of some use with the mice in the cellar.

"I'll think about it." She finally answered. "Now go put him back before his mother misses him. She may not take care of him if he's got your scent all over him."

"Okay." Before turning to go Brady looked to Lex. "Do you have any animals?" The question caught him off guard and he shifted uncomfortably as he shook his head. Brady didn't notice this as she skipped off with a smile.

"Watch out." Trudy shook her head with a smile and turned to clean out the frying pan. "She'll be trying to send you home with one of those next."

"We don't exactly... have pets." Lex didn't meet her eyes and took his seat.

"None at all?"

"No."

"So no dog parks in the New City huh?"

Lex shrugged nervously and stuffed homefries into his mouth to keep from answering. He didn't want to tell Trudy the truth afraid she would be disgusted as he himself once had been. The truth was that in this new world the food supply couldn't be wasted. It wasn't as if there were cattle farms around and they certainly couldn't import more pigs and chickens. It only made sense that animals that were of no use otherwise became the new food source.

In the beginning he had wanted to throw up at the thought of eating dog or any other furry creature that one thought of as house pet. But eventually with time it became normal to have squirrel soup instead of chicken. Chicken had become a rare delicacy saved for special occasions. The eggs were more important than the meat so the flightless fowl was pretty safe as were most birds. Now they had breeding farms for rabbits, cats, dogs, raccoons, opossums. If it had four legs and couldn't give milk or perform some other useful task, it was a meal. Trudy watched him squirm at first confused by any sort of shy uncertainty in the man. Then it dawned on her why he seemed so tongue tied.

"You eat them don't you?"

He finally met her eyes. There was no judgment in her voice and not a hint of surprise on her face. "Well yeah..." He stuttered still feeling the need to explain himself. "I mean..."

"It's okay Lex." She reassured amused. "You're not the only ones. I mean it's a new world and we can't eat like we used to, which isn't necessarily a bad thing." She smirked.

Lex was surprised. "So you and Brady eat..." He trailed off.

"Sure." She nodded. "Whatever I can kill that isn't diseased. I mean, meat's meat."

Again Lex nodded feeling slightly foolish. He should have guessed that others would eventually have adopted the same lifestyle. He suddenly wondered if Trudy's constant diet of eggs and other **conventional **foods had been her attempt at making him feel more at home. Perhaps she hadn't wanted to assume anything about the eating habits of the New City.

"Yeah I should've known. I just didn't want to say anything in front of Brady." He shrugged. "She's just a kid in all."

Trudy couldn't hide her smile but it held no mockery. She was genuinely tickled at how endearing Lex had become over the years though she wasn't exactly sure how she'd expected him to act. She always knew he was capable of being sweet when he wanted to be however he rarely ever directed such behavior in her direction when they were young. While it was a welcomed change from the arrogant boy she'd lived with for many excruciating years, Trudy couldn't help but wonder if Lex's softer edges were a result of stifled pain. Despite his efforts to hide it, she saw the melancholy that clouded his eyes. His reserved and withdrawn domeanor reminded Trudy of a wild horse whose spirit had been broken.

"Lex," She finally chuckled gently. "Brady was born in this world. She didn't come from a life where dogs and cats and other pets were members of the family. She doesn't know of a difference between domestic and wild animals. To her a kitten is no different than a new born pig. Their both cute and their both food. She knows those kittens will be traded at a nearby farm and most likely eaten. What we've all had to adjust to is completely natural for her."

Lex frowned as he thought this over. "I get the feeling Brady is gonna be a hell of a lot tougher than any of us were."

Trudy laughed. "I think she already is." He watched her as she finished scraping the pan and grabbed a pot to fill with water. She took the pot and began to head over to the pump sink but stopped by his chair. "It was really sweet of you to think of her feelings though." She added as an after thought before kissing his cheek and continuing on her way.

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That afternoon the gray skies finally opened up and unleashed a torrent of icy rain. Despite Lex's protests Trudy insisted on working on the fence in the dismal weather, insisting it couldn't wait. Confined to the house, his leg still unfit for heavy labor, Lex watched her through the window with discerning eyes, Brady's lively conversation filling the background. Sometimes Trudy's figure, distorted by the rain, disappeared from view and Lex found himself pacing from one window to the next until he caught sight of her again. He wasn't sure why it bothered him so much to have her out there though he was certain it had to do with more than his ego.

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"Ouch!" Trudy cursed softly as she slit her palm along the jagged wire attached to the broken fence. The cold was making her wet hands numb and she was less accurate as she shivered. Despite the large poncho she wore, Trudy felt frozen to her core and being slightly damp wasn't keeping her any warmer. Fighting the urge to give up and go inside she pressed on knowing how important this fence was to she and Brady's survival. Several agonizing minutes passed before she caught movement out the corner of her eye. Startled Trudy jumped up and breathed an annoyed sigh of relief seeing that it was just their mule Ocean. He'd wandered out of the pen she'd accidently left open and was quickly making his way across the field.

"Ocean, you stupid mule!" Trudy called in exasperation and started after him. "Get back here!"

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"Have you ever made candles before Lex?" Brady was saying as she sat playing with several marbles in front of the fireplace. "That's right, you have electricity in the city. You've got regular lamps and everything. We have to use beeswax and animal fat for our lanterns."

Lex answered in a distracted murmur, his eyes glued to the window. Trudy had disappeared again and he searched the blurred view before him for any sign of her.

"I could show you how to make them." Brady continued unaffected by his lack of response. "We have some beeswax in the cellar. Maybe we could make some tomorrow and I can show you how to color them and everything. Who invented electricity anyway? Momma can't remember and we don't have any books about it..."

Brady's voice faded away as Lex narrowed his eyes at the soaked world outside the coziness of the house. _Where is she?_ He wondered in vain and willed Trudy to reappear. Her prolonged absence was worrisome and he felt unsettled, a knot of urgency forming in his stomach.

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"Damn you Ocean!" Trudy screamed against the deafening rain. "I'm gonna kill you when I get my hands on you!"

As though understanding her threat the mule continued to avade capture as he trotted further over the hillside. He'd already taken Trudy on quite the chase and she was startled by the site of the swollen river in the valley. They were at least a mile from the house now and her boots were soaked and sloshed with cold water. If he wasn't so vital to field work, she might have left the dumb animal to wander and take his chances in the wild. As it was she had to catch him and continued to run after him toward the rapidly flowing water. Fortunately for Trudy, Ocean paused at the river bank as though confused as to where to run next. Sprinting forward Trudy lunged and managed to grab the rope around the mule's neck with a stiff and shivering hand.

"Gotcha!" She cried out in triumph only to lose her balance, slipping on the slick rocks and falling into the frigid river with a shrill scream. For a frightening moment the fierce current pulled Trudy under and she could feel her left boot catch itself on something sharp. Luckily Ocean's foothold was firm and Trudy, her shaking hands still desperately clinging to his rope, was able to pull herself above the surface. Gasping she kicked her leg loose, losing her boot and struggled against the flow of water to pull herself back onto the rocks. Trembling with cold and fear Trudy panted on her knees trying to ignore the fact that she could have easily drowned. Thank goodness for Ocean's rope. She glared up at the mule and muttered through chattering teeth. "Ya know, one of these days I'm gonna kill you."

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"Do you wanna hear some music?"

Lex briefly looked away from the window and felt guilty for ignoring Brady's attempts to engage him in conversation. "Music? Do you know how to play an instrument?"

"Actually I can." The little girl stood proudly, glad to have a real answer from her companion. "Hawk taught me the forest flute but I've got something better. Something from the old world."

He watched as she dashed up the stairs and glanced back out the window. For a moment he saw nothing and sighed in disappointment. Suddenly He could see her trudging through the field, the figure of a mule tagging along behind her. A small relieved smile danced on Lex's lips before he noticed Trudy's disheveled appearance. There was something wrong with the way she was limping. And her rain hat was missing.

Not taking a moment to grab a jacket Lex raced out the door into the downpour. Ignoring the blast of icy water hitting his stunned face he forced his leg to bear the brunt of his weight and sprinted to Trudy. Through the blinding rain he could now see one of her boots was missing as well.

"Where were you?" He shouted and Trudy shakingly looked up at his approach. Her pale, frozen complexion startled him and as Lex reached her side he realized she was soaked to the skin. "Christ! What happened?"

"Ocean," She shivered violently, her eyes clouded and drooped with fatigue. "River..."

Lex glanced at the guilty animal before taking Trudy's arm and pulling it over his shoulders. She looked as though she were about to collapse from exhaustion. At the very least hypothermia. "Come on," He gently pulled the rope from her clenched fist. "Let's get you inside."

"Ocean..." Trudy murmured grateful for Lex's strong support as her legs were turning to useless, numbed weights beneath her body.

"Don't worry. I've got him."

As quickly as he could, Lex guided Trudy to the house, tugging the reluctant Ocean behind him. The cold wetness was stinging his skin and Lex could only imagine how Trudy was feeling at the moment. Remembering his own torturous night spent in freezing rain he quickened his pace. Pausing to secure the mule inside the barn Lex then lifted Trudy off her feet and carried her inside.

Brady was back on the couch with what looked like a gramaphone sitting beside her. "Where'd you go?" She asked before looking up her eyes suddenly fearful at the sight of her mother. "Momma?"

"She's fine Brady." Lex panted reassuringly as he kicked the door shut with his foot. "Just cold and wet."

"Momma?" Brady rushed to the dripping couple and touched Trudy's icy face. "Momma, are you okay?"

"I'm... I'm okay b... baby." Trudy's teeth chattered uncontrollably as she tried to maintain for the sake of her frightened daughter. Her insides were screaming, the shock of her fall and near drowning coupled with the exposure to the cruel elements were all hitting her at once.

"Clear the couch Brady." Lex commanded in as gentle a tone as he could muster and set Trudy down after the grammaphone had been removed. "We just gotta get her warm. Isn't that right Trude?" Yanking off the useless poncho he draped the blanket around Trudy's trembling shoulders.

"That's no good." Brady suddenly spoke. "You're just locking in the cold that way. We have to get all the wet stuff off or she'll just get colder." The unexpected maturity in her tone surprised Lex and he watched as Brady pulled the blanket from her mother. Her small hands hesitating only a moment, she started to gently tug off Trudy's dripping sweater. "We need hot water, don't we Momma?"

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That night thunderous rain filled the void of usual silence. Mother and daughter were already asleep, Brady entwined in Trudy's arms like a small, ivy covered pillar. Only one life stirred within the dark house, his brooding eyes staring out into the black night. Sleep was eluding him once again and never had Lex wanted a spice joint so badly in his life.

Earlier on they had successfully stripped Trudy to her bare ecessentials and warmed her in a hot bath. Lex had been oddly embarrassed to see Trudy in her underclothes and did his best to keep his eyes on the floor. He was also surprised and impressed with Brady's determined handle on the situation. In seconds the little girl before him had transformed into a miniature survivalist. Only the frightened glint in her eyes and the slight unsure trembling of her hands gave away her true age.

Afterward, when Trudy was feeling more like herself they bundled her up and set her in front of the fire. They shared a light dinner of goat cheese and bread and spent the remaining twilight hours listening to Trudy tell of her adventure. She'd tried to laugh it off, describing a few other times when nature had gotten the best of her. Lex watched while Brady sat curled up at her mother's side, the emotional wear of this recent experience showing on her young face.

This, of all things, worried Lex most of all. Though initially scared at the sight of her mother, Brady had stepped up to the plate and taken control like an adult. She'd acted as though this sort of thing happened all the time. Which left Lex to wonder how often Trudy put herself in harm's way just to ensure their way of life. It bothered him to think that Brady perhaps spent much of her young life scared that someday her mother might not return from one of her adventures. What disturbed him just as much was the thought that Brady might have already accepted this fearful reality.

Even more so what seemed to be keeping Lex awake was how he'd **felt **when Trudy disappeared. Being unable to see her, feeling concerned for her welfare, sensing something was wrong... this triggered something and Lex could still feel it stirring inside his chest. Like a small beast that had been asleep for a long time, awakened by such a startling experience. Lex recognized the emotion though he did not welcome it. For years he'd done all he could to avoid feeling it and it's sudden reappearance was nerve racking at best. It had been a long time since Lex allowed anyone close enough to stir such a feeling in him. But seeing Trudy that afternoon, realizing she could have drowned or collapsed or... Lex sighed and bit back the urge to curse. He'd been scared for her.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

The dream came swiftly and Lex let out a small distressed murmur in his slumber. Images of repressed memories were swirling before him unbidden and he tossed fitfully trying to fight the buried pain that haunted him. Despite his efforts Lex awoke in a cot and a familiar scent, lost long ago, wafted into his nostrils. There, pacing at his feet and humming a cheerful tune as she twisted her hair back, was Siva.

"Morning sleepy head." She smiled gaily at him.

Lex stared back for a moment. _It's a dream stupid. _He told himself. _It's just a dream. Wake up._ He commanded silently but his body wouldn't obey. Instead the dream Lex smiled back.

"Hey babe. Why don't come back to bed?" _Wake up!_

"I'd love to but Sergeant Jay's called a meeting." She and Lex both chuckled at the nickname they'd given Jay months ago. "I think he's made plans to attack one of Mega's checkpoints."

"Another day in paradise." Lex murmured before resigning himself to get out of bed. Pausing he sized up Siva's curvacious figure with a glint of lust in his eyes. "Did I tell you I love you today?"

"Not yet." She replied sweetly.

"Good." Lex smirked. "I'm waiting for a special moment."

Siva laughed at his teasing and slapped his arm. It had been a couple days since she'd read that quote to him out of one of her harloquin romance novels. The last couple of months things had been going quite well for Siva and Lex. Ever since he'd finally made up his mind to put Taisan and their past behind him. It hadn't been an easy choice but Lex knew it had to be done. He also believed (and hoped) that Taisan wouldn't begrudge him for moving on and finding love. He only prayed that she was happy and able to do the same for herself. Taking the few material things he had left of their marriage, including her beloved crystal, Lex placed them in a box and stored it in the back of the foodstore of the mall. This way she'd always be in his heart, just not on his mind, leaving him free to pursue a future with Siva.

It was early August and the city was still under the siege of war. The Mallrats were no longer in their precious mall and instead had divided their forces into several smaller groups spread throughout sector ten. The decison to evacuate was made barely in time as Mega attacked the mall. His firebomb had caused the carpark to collapse, killing Ved who died in a valiant attempt to protect Lottie. They'd followed the young girl's screams and found her buried beneath Ved's broken body amongst the rubble. Since then most of the women and children were taking refuge in the basement of the art museum a few blocks away. It was dark and cramped but secure. Ram and Jack rigged the generator to give them light and a bit of heat. Some buildings away, in the bunker of the first national bank were the most of the Mallrats soldiers. All of the rebels had gone underground as Mega's attacks escalated in feriocity. Even the Zootist found little safety on the streets. They were losing. Everyone knew it but no one was saying it out loud. Despite the odds against them and their heavy losses, it was just in the Mallrat spirit to continue fighting.

Lex and Siva slipped into Jay's meeting and were greeted with weary yet determined faces. Amber looked the most down trodden of them all. It had been nearly a week since she'd been able to get over to the museum to see her son. It was important to keep from leading Mega's spies to the new Mallrat hideout. Or any other place where the civilians and wounded were being kept. Despitewanting to protectthe women, the fighters couldn't spare Amber, Ebony and Siva. Each had skills that were desperately needed on the lines. Lex could see right away that this was going to be a big mission. Jay had called in reinforcements and the room was more than crowded with fighters from the city's remaining tribes. When Jay finally revealed his plan, the room dissented into subdued argument.

"You want us to attack the old boneyard?" Fox, one of the last Demon Dogs left around, narrowed his eyes at Jay. "What good will that do? There's no petrol there."

"No," The blond commander shook his head. "But I received word that Mega's stationed a small band of Technos there."

"Why should we trek all the way out to sector fourteen to jump a small group of Technos?" Ebony's sultry question carried over the other voices. "If we're looking to get pistol whipped we can just step outside. They'll find **us**."

"Because we believe this group is supplying Mega with his firebombs." Ram countered.

The room went silent as they considered this news. The firebombs were the most catastrophic weapons in the war. They not only created massive explosions but also emitted an awful, flammable substance that would set anything and anyone ablaze. The bomb itself was about the size of a man's head and carried within it several smaller bombs that spread out from the first blast. Each blowing up in succession and leaving devestation in their wake. One firebomb was all it took to bring the entire mall carpark down. If they found a way to keep Mega from making them, it could turn the tide in their favor.

_Wake up! _

The colors of the room suddenly swirled and blended together and Lex found himself in a jeep with Slade and several other fighters. Their small group had been assigned to attack from the right flank. Siva and her group were sent to the South, Fox and Amber were coming from the left and Jay had the North with Ebony, the most dangerous area of attack.

" Right flank, approaching sector fourteen." Lex spoke into the walkie talkie strapped to his waist. It was a primitive way for the rebels to communicate but being wireless, it kept Mega from over hearing their messages.

"Disembark the truck and continue on foot." Jay's voice crackled back. "The element of surprise is the only advantage we may have."

Another swirling of color and Lex was now huddled in an alley, an explosion going off somewhere in the distance.

"What the hell was that!" Slade shouted over the noise and grabbed for his walkie talkie. "Jay! Was that any of you?" He and Lex could hear garbled messages coming back. First was Ebony.

"Didn't come from the North but I think they were expecting us."

Lex then heard Jay calling Amber's name receiving only static. His heart skipped a beat as he stared at the small instrument in his hand. This part he always feared the most. He waited to hear Siva's voice amongst the static. He was too scared to call her name. Scared she wouldn't be there to respond.

"South group here." Her voice finally came through and Lex let out the breath he'd been holding. After a pause. "I'm here baby."

"Glad to hear it." Lex smiled as he replied, trying to disguise his fear.

"Amber!" Jay's voice called again.

"I'm alright!" Lex recognized Amber as she coughed. "They knew we were coming. They ambushed us. Fox is down!"

"Where are you?"

"Two blocks from the boneyard. Trying to get back to the truck."

"Amber wait." Siva spoke up. "Hold your position. We can see them and if you move you'll run straight into them... " _Wake up dammit! _"We're coming in to cover you. At my signal make for the truck. We'll lead them away."

"Siva!" Lex cried out and then paused... "We'll meet you there." There was no way in hell he was letting his girl go at this fight alone.

The color wheel that clouded Lex's mind was overwhelming. He could hear shouting, and explosions as the ground shook beneath his feet. They were running and above them the sky rained fire. The only thing on his mind was getting to Siva. _Oh God... wake up! I don't want to see anymore... _Voices blared from his walkie talkie, a medley of chaos.

"We're clear..." That was Amber.

"They're closing in..."

"Jay and me are coming in to back you up Siva. Just keep your heading." Ebony...

"Almost there babe!" Lex heard himself panting for breath.

"They've blocked us off...

"We can't stop the bleeding... Fox is gone..."

There was a scream, another blast, more swirling colors and then all was black for several minutes before Lex realized he was still running. But now he was running toward something in the distance. A cloud of smoke hovered above like a beacon drawing him forward. He didn't call Siva's name on the walkie talkie... scared she wouldn't be there.

"Siva!" It was Slade. "Siva, please say you weren't in that building that just came down. Siva!"

"We're okay." Lex's heart flipped. _Wake up... it's going to be bad... _"Some of the hallway caved in and blocked us off. They can't get in but we can't get out either. Bars on the window."

"Where are you?" Jay...

"The courthouse. In one of the back rooms, facing the alley."

"Jay and me will lead them off, give you all a chance to gain some ground. Lex, Slade..." Ebony's voice trailed off.

"We're on it." Lex answered running faster.

In minutes Slade and Lex came to the alley way behind the courthouse. They could hear the fighting out front and both silently wished Jay and Ebony luck. Their group fanned out searching all the barred windows until...

"Lex! We're here!"

There was her arm waving at him. He raced toward her, leaping onto a pile of milkcrates so that he could see inside. He grabbed her hand and reached in between the bars to embrace her.

"You alright?"

Siva smiled briefly before looking down. "Yeah. Jones is hurt and we lost Steven."

"You did good." Lex said simply, his heart pounding with immeasurable relief.

"I got us trapped."

"At least you didn't get us dead." Jones spoke up from the floor bringing a bit of comic relief to their situation.

Slade stood on the ground below Lex and eyed the windows. "We have to get these bars off somehow."

"Where'd we leave the jeep?"

Slade narrowed his eyes at Lex. "Back some ways. Remember, we came from the right."

"Yeah," Lex frowned.

"You can use ours." Siva said brightly. "It's only a couple blocks that way." She pointed up the alley.

There was a quick exchange of keys and Slade took off with two others to retrieve the jeep. Lex and the other three young men stood watch in the alley, listening to the sounds of the fight out front tapering off.

"I hope that means we're winning." Siva tried to smirk.

Despite the seriousness of their situation Lex grinned at her. "I can not wait to get you out of there, back home and out of those clothes."

Siva feigned innocence. "All of us, or just me?"

Laughing Lex leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers through the bars. "Did I tell you I love you today?" _please... please wake up... _She shook her head coyly. "Good." He whispered and leaned in to kiss her lips.

The intimacy of the moment was interupted by the arrival of the jeep at the end of the alley. The pathway between buildings was too narrow for Slade to drive through.

"We'll have to chain it from here." He called over.

Lex nodded and smiled at Siva. "We'll have you guys out in a couple minutes. Stand away from the window, in case we accidently bring down the wall."

The noise out front had completely died down though the group in the alley way didn't notice as they started attaching the tow chain to the bars of the window. Lex could vaguely hear Slade trying to get through to Ebony on his walkie talkie but she seemed to be breaking up. That could mean they were out of range.

"What? I didn't catch that. Ebony?"

"Slade!... lost... omb... out... now... out... there... now..."

"What?" He shouted back. "Where are you guys? Are you alright?"

"What's wrong?" Siva peered out the window once more, worried over the panic in her younger sister's voice. "Is she okay?"

"I can't hear a thing she's saying." Slade shook his head and started walking toward the jeep with the device against his ear. "Ebony!"

"It's prob'ly the alley." Lex looked up at the enclosed space. _Get up... please _"Interference." Jumping down from the milkcrates he started walking in Slade's direction. "Lemme give it a try. A good wack against the bricks outta help."

"What?" Slade shouted as he looked at Lex's approaching form. "Ebony I can barely..."

"Get out... " Suddenly Ebony's voice blasted through frantic and clear as day. "Slade! Get out of there now! A bomb Slade, a bomb! Get out of there NOW!"

Not even a second passed between Lex and Slade staring at one another in fearful shock and the faint clattering of a metal ball being tossed into the alley from the other end.

"Lex?" Siva's voice rang through the silence that had over taken them. "What's going on?"

There was no time. Just as Lex shouted her name, Slade was screaming for everyone to run. And that's what Lex attempted to do, run for the window to Siva as if he would rip the bars off himself. _Please... no... _There was a deafening blast and Lex felt as though he were choking as he was lifted and bathed in burning white light. Just before the swirling colors turned to a black abyss, he heard Siva's scream.

The colors swirled around him in a chaotic manner making him feel sick. There was a pounding on his chest and somewhere through the thick fog he heard shouting. His name... someone was calling his name. Suddenly warm, dirty lips covered his own and forced hot air into his paralyzed lungs. Lex gagged and started to cough, the noises around him greatly intensifed.

"Jesus man," He heard Slade's voice. "I thought you were dead. You weren't breathing.

Lex opened his eyes to see the young man kneeling over him. The left side of Slade's face was covered in blood from a deep gash on the side of his forehead. His clothes and hair were covered in singe marks suggesting he'd just barely been out of range of the flames. The tender pink burn on his right hand emphasized that fact even more so.

Lex sat up and tried to see the sky above them through the thick black smoke. If he didn't know any better he'd think it was night. All around him was smoke and he could hear the roar of fire. He reached up to rub the soot in his eyes and realized it was blood coming from the cut in his brow. Slipping a hand around his tender neck Lex found that the collar of his leather jacket had been nearly ripped off.

"Sorry 'bout that." Slade frowned. "You were running toward the bomb. I had to grab you. Good thing you were wearing that coat." Slade held up his burnt hand. "That could have been you... but all over."

Shaking the swirling colors from his head Lex looked around and saw flaming items littering the ground. "What... Where... Where's Siva?"

Slade looked down. "They set a trap for us."

Lex frowned and stood up, wavering a bit. "Where is she?" _Not again..._

"There was nothing we could do..."

"Wha...?" Narrowing his eyes at Slade, Lex started stumbling through the choking smoke trying to figure out where he was.

"Lex don't."

Lex didn't stop and he noticed Slade didn't get up to enforce his command. After several feet he was able to make out a few buildings then bumped into the jeep. He must be at the alley way entrance. _No... _But when Lex looked up through the clearing smoke, he saw that there **was** no alley. The backs of both bordering buildings had completely collapsed into a mass of burning rubble. _Siva..._

He was overtaken by the swirling colors and when Lex was on his feet again he was staring down at her name engraved in a smooth wooden marker. _Siva... _Around him stood his friends, some weeping, others stoic. He thought maybe Amber was saying something, or perhaps it was Ebony. None of it mattered for all he could focus on was her name... _I don't want to be here... _engraved in a plank of wood. And all he could think was "I should've told you... _please... _that I loved you." ..._wake up..._


	14. Chapter 13

(author's note: I apologize for the delay in this update. I'm offline right now and have been for a few months. I had to print this chapter off my home computer and retype it onto this computer in order to upload it. I hope you appreciate the effort. And I hope this chapter was at least worth the wait. LOL)

Chapter Thirteen

When Lex awoke he found that his face and pillow were damp with tears. With angry frustration he wiped at his eyes. "Shit." He muttered and sat up quickly.

It had been three years since he'd thought of Siva's death. Three years since he'd made up his mind to shut down the pain and every emotion connected to it. For three years he walked through life experiencing only a bland equilibrium of melancholy. He'd managed to prevent himself from feeling the extreme highs of pleasure and the lows of pure sadness. Now here with Trudy and Brady, somehow their very presence tapped those emotions buried so deep within himself. He was feeling genuine happiness for the first time in years. unfortunately you can't have the good without the bad and Lex was also rediscoverinjg the pain of ultimate loss.

Looking around Lex realized it was still dark and that the sounds of Trudy coughing were what awoke him. Pulling on Kye's jumper, he quietly slipped downstairs and found Trudy trying to sleep on the couch. She looked terrible and from the sound of her congestion he guessed that she'd caught a cold. Despite his attempts to be quiet, Trudy seemed to sense his presence immediately and opened her eyes.

"Did I wake you?" She asked hoarsely. Shaking his head Lex glanced at the fire, Siva's scream still echoing in his ears. Trudy peered at him through the semi darkness. "Are you alright?" She narrowed her eyes in concern. "You look awful."

"Didn't sleep well." He mumbled quietly.

This she could have guessed for herself and Trudy stared at Lex, taken aback by the transformation in hikm. Normally only a hint of his deep sadness showed in his eyes but now... well now his whole body was steeped in some unexplained pain, the sheer weight of it threatening to crush the breath from him.

"Lex?" She whispered.

He didn't answer, only silently sat on the edge of the couch, his eyes transfixed by the flames. He was reminded of another fire that almost took his life, one on a mountain oh so many years ago. Lex's lips parted just so and he let out an inaudible gasp as Siva's echoing scream was joined by another... Zandra. How similar were their deaths. Lex could still remember going through the motions of each: seeking out their bodies in the blackened ash, digging their graves in the hardened earth, putting the women he loved to rest long before their time, staring at the grave markers that would remain for years after the bodies within had turned to dust... He'd been spared such acts with Taisan but the pain of her loss was even greater. With Taisan it hadn't been instant, instead he had to continually lose a piece of her every day... her scent, the teaste of her mouth, her caress, her laugh, every discreet little moan and facial expression she made when making love, the light in her eyes, her voice... for nearly a year until she'd all but disappeared from him entirely.

Lex squeezed his eyes shut as all three of their faces danced before him, their smiles mocking his pain. He'd spent many years running from this, thinking that if he ignored it, it would fade into oblivion. That was the only way he'd ever dealt with his sorrow, a habit left over from childhood. Instead the pain of loss had deepened and the agony was consuming him. Lex now wanted more than ever to lash out, to punish someone... **something**... as he'd done in his youth.

Trudy watched him stand now slightly frightened by the pain that contorted his handsome features. He paced randomly like a caged lion not sure what to do with himself, all the while a silent fury building up within. Lex couldn't get their faces out of his head and the mixture of anger and sadness was overwhelming. Without warning he grabbed the closest thing in reach, an oil lantern, and smashed it against the wall with a frustrated cry.

"Fuck!"

Jumping in fright, Trudy watched as Lex slumped to the floor in front of the couch in defeat. He knew his small tantrum had done nothing other than allow him to vent some pent up frustration. Nothing had been solved and at the moment Lex didn't know if anything ever would be. for a few silent minutes Trudy stared at him wondering whether she should speak. She wasn't sure what she could possible say since she didn't even know what it was that seemed to be hurting Lex so much. She needn't have worried herself since Lex was the first to speak.

"Why are you here Trudy?"

His quiet question caught her off guard and trudy coughed before responding. "What?"

Lex turned eyes filled with unrecognizable emotion toward her. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you listen to Hawk and go to the Gaians? Why are you raising Brady here on this farm? Why are you alone Trudy?" Lex drew closer, the intensity of his expression making her tremble. Without thought he embraced her hands with an earnest desperation. Trudy's breath caught in her throat as Lex's eyes flickered over her features in the dim firelight. "Why haven't you settled down with someone who loves you? Some man who loves you with his every breath... loves you so much it aches not to have you near him? Why are you here?" He finished in a whisper, his lips now only inches from hers.

He wanted to kiss her. lex had wanted to kiss her almost from the moment when he first awoke. Even when they were young the desire to feel her lips against his own, to taste the sweetness of her mouth had been strong. There had always been a desperate wanting in Trudy's eyes that Lex felt undeniably drawn to. Her melancholy expression called for someone and despite knowing he was the worst candidate, lex had always longed to respond to that call. Closing his eyes, Lex paused long enough to relish the feel of her staggered breath on his mouth before moving away. He wasn't good enough for her then and nothing, not even time,had changed that.

If he'd taken a moment Lex might have caught the look in disappointment on Trudy's face. As it was she recovered quickly, swallowing any desire to feel Lex's hands on her body. "I've never known a love like that." She finally answered, her voice tinged with unspoken sadness. "I stayed here because... because I needed to learn to stand on my own. All my life people have taken care of me. first my parents, then Bray. "She paused. "If it hadn't been for Bray and the rest of the mallrats, brady and i wouldn't have made it."

"That's not true." Lex defended quietly.

"It is." She insisted. "I didn't know how to be strong. believe it or not, despite how horrible we were to each other, I was glad you were there... protecting us." She and lex caught eyes for a moment. "I mean no matter how mean you were or how much I thought you hated all of us, you were always the first in line to defend us against whatever threat that came."

"I was just defending what was mine." Lex said with slight irritation. "My actions were nothing more than a selfish desire to have control."

"Not selfish Lex..." Trudy shook her head and coughed once again. "Not all the time. You weren't selfish when you tried to stop the Chosen from taking me, or when you came to save Bray on the beach, or the time you saved us all from Top Hat even though you were sick, or when you started that riot at the Tribal Gathering and got yourself beat up just so Amber and Dal could get away... You had nothing to gain from those sacrifices Lex. You just did them because it's part of who you are."

For a moment Lex was silent before replying. "Don't make me out to be some sort of hero Trudy."

"I'm not." She coughed indignantly. "I'm just saying... I've never been that strong. Why do you think I fed into all that Chosen propoganda? I didn't know how to stand up to them. And I was scared of losingthe only person in the world who needed me... loved me." Trudy's eyes misted over as she thought of her daughter. "I let that fear control me and so many people suffered for it. And then you all rescued me again, like always. The Mallrats always looked after me. As a group you all took better care of Brady than I did." Lex looked at Trudy then suddenly realizing just how much guilt she was still clinigng to. "When Mega made that offer, about the New City, it felt like we were breaking up as a tribe. I lost that sense of security so I took Brady to the one other place where we could be safe."

"The Ecos."

Trudy nodded. "i knew they'd look after me. Hawk told me I was always welcome. Then fate led us to kye and for the first time I started to learn how to survive. How to look after myself, how to depend on only me. And when he died, I knew that I couldn't go back to letting others take care of me. So I stayed."

Neither spoke for several minutes and on the horizon the dawn began to break through the dark veil of night. Lex stared into the fire mulling Trudy's words over in his head. Though he didn't say it, he knew exactly how she felt. Despite being seen as the Mallrat warrior, Lex had always felt as though his survival depended on the tribe as much as theirs depended on him. And while he prided himself on his ability to stand on his own, he longed for that lost feeling of closeness. he was strong but he was also alone. And that emptiness... caused such an ache in his heart so deep it was crushing.

"Come here." Trudy's cough caused his eyes to slip open, when had he closed them? He looked at her gentle expression and realized she was reaching out for him.

"What?"

Trudy pulled the blanket back nonchalantly. "Lie down. You're exhausted and I could use the company."

Her casual appeal was nonassumming and Lex only hesistated a moment before finally resting his head on her thigh. Though this level of intimacy was something he avoided like the plague, he was simply too tired to deny his body's need for comfort. He fouht back the urge to pull awaywhen her slender fingers began raking through his unruly locks of hair. Within minutes lex found himself succumbing to the hypnotic sensations of Trudy's hand and fell into a dreamless sleep.

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The two adults on the couch slept so soundly that neither heard Brady come down a few hours later. she was surprised and yet pleased to see them together and went about making breakfast after quietly stoking the fire. Lex stirred awake first, the combination of dishes clinking and the extreme heat radiating from Trudy's leg rousing him from sleep flush and sweat beaded on her brow, dampening the edges of her hairline.

"Trudy." He nudged her gently. "Trudy wake up."

He was answered with a pained moan as she shivered and pulled the blanket around herself tightly.

"What's wrong?" Brady's voice made him jump and he turned to see the little girl approaching them cautiously.

"I... I think she's got a fever."

Taking it upon herself to touch a wrist to her mother's forehead, brady frowned fearfully and nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay," Lex rubbed an anxious hand over her face. "I'm a bit out of my depth here. What do we do to bring it down?"

"Um," He watched the light blue eyes dart around in thought. "There's a tea she usually makes that helps. And, if it gets really bad we should put something really cold at her feet, like ice or something. It brings the fever down from the head."

Lex nodded as he marveled over the usefulness of the old ways. "Okay then, show me how to make this tea."

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"I'm fine." Trudy prtested when she awoke to find her daughter and Lex fussing over her prone form. "It's just a little cold."

"I don't care. You're not moving and that's final."

Glaring at Lex, Trudy sat up abruptly and threw the blanket onto the floor in annoyance. "So you say. I have far too much to do without wasting a day laying around in bed. I've been sick worse that this before."

"Your chores can wait. You need rest." Her black haired nursing maid insisted firmly.

"Lex," She tried a gentler tactic. "I appreciate the convern but really it's okay. I feel a bit plugged up but I'll be fine. Besides the fence can't wait another day. we've been lucky so far and I don't wanna press it."

"Maybe so but if you don't take care of yourself now you'll only get worse. Imagine how much your housework will suffer when you're dying of pneumonia.'

Swallowing back the urge to chuckle at his sarcasm Trudy sighed. "I've done this many times before Lex."

"That's what bothers me." He muttered before picking up the blanket and running his hands over the worn wool in agitation. "Look, **I'll** fix the fence today while you rest up. I may be a city boy but I'm sure I can mend a few broken slats. and as for the rest of it, Brady can show me what needs to be done."

Brady, who had been watching the argument in pure fascination jumped at the chance to voice her opinion. "I can even help with the fence. I know how."

Looking up at the little girl Lex returned her bright smile with a weak one of his own. Staring at the both of them Trudy sighed, realizing she'd lost this battle before it had begun. Slumping back onto the couch in exhaustion she merely nodded.

"Fine. I'll lie here like a useless lump while you do all the work. Happy?"

"Ecstatic." Came the sardonic reply.

She watched as the two readied themselves to face the chilly morning, melting at the sight of Brady's adjusting the cuffs of Kye's jacket on Lex's shorter arms. So enthused was the little girl by Lex's domination over her mother, she asked her next question without thought.

"Lex, did you know my father?"

"Brady!" Trudy snapped before Lex could even think of replying, an unfamiliar edge to her tone. "I thought I already told you that your father died **before** we ever met the Mallrats."

Ducking her head sheepishly Brady simply nodded. "Sorry, I forgot." Though the blush that creeped over her cheeks and down the back of her slender neck claimed just the opposite.

Lex, who had been thrown off by the unexpected question glanced between mother and daughter and noticed that Trudy didn't take her sharp eyes off Brady. He hadn't missed the blantant lie his friend had just spoken and even now images of Zoot falling over the railing of the mezzanine flashed through his mind. The silence went on between the three of them and he finally disturbed it by awkwardly clearing his throat.

"Come on then. We've got lots to do so we'd better get started." Nodding Brady beat a hasty retreat out the door without looking back at her mother who in turn followed the little girl's progress, an indescribable look on her tired face. Lex shook his head at the odd moment as he pulled the hood over his hair. "we'll be back in for lunch." He paused in the doorway, wanting to ask Trudy what was going on but thought better of it. "Try and sleep." He finally said and closed the door behind him.


End file.
